Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

Mar 092012
 

Bellisima!

I confess that the only thing that makes me cantankerous about Venice is having to leave.  Not that there aren’t some strange things going on here in Italy.  The Italians have their own way or doing things- and it isn’t all bad.  Just hard to get used to.

But once you do, you can never go back.

I apologize for being in such a mellow mood but it can’t last.  Next stop is NYC.

Meanwhile to make up for Justin’s branfreeze look at some pictures.  It’s all good.

San Marco the Basilica

Approaching Piazale Roma

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feb 192012
 

You thought I was distracted, eh?

The cruise ship that swallowed Venice

Two stories grabbed my attention this week, no mean feat as we try to manage all the details of the upcoming trip. Even though it seems to be warming up in Venice, we still may have to worry about being run over by a cruise ship. Those big ships which seem to have trouble staying upright in Italian waters dock a mere five minute walk from our apartment. I’m not going to worry just now although it may be something  to study after I get there. Venice has survived a great many challenges since it’s founding. It can surely last a few more weeks.

Venice: Cruise Ships Are Killing Us 

No, today, I can’t stop thinking about school lunches. I attended public schools through high school, never giving any thought to why they existed or if they made any sense. Sure, there were some private schools around dedicated, as I saw it, to Catholics and rich people because neither group wanted their kids associating with the hoi polloi. I could understand the appeal for one group. The rich kid schools had better facilities and more pretty girls. The Catholic schools had nuns and that seemed weird to me.

So I grew up and got my formative training in the peoples schools giving and taking with kids from every social class. I’m not complaining. What I never recognized was the danger for education when government runs the show. When I was a kid , we hardly noticed the government. What government there was seemed pretty benign during my childhood because it was local government – a school district that had it’s own tax base run by people I knew who ran for election every so often. There was a bit of state coordination but it was pretty much local control. This was long before the creation of the Federal Department of Education.

But I digress! 

Well, I could probably go on for days about what’s gone wrong with education since I was a kid but that’s not where I am headed today. Somewhere along the way, somebody decided that it would be good if the School Districts got into the food business, just so their students would be able to get a hot meal. It didn’t seem like such a bad idea but that’s what government is good at. Taking a not so bad idea and making it a disaster. But that’s only the beginning of the story.

Schoolchildren eating hot school lunches made ...

Image via Wikipedia

School lunches were always a joke for us kids. There might be a few dishes that were really good but by and large, they were just like the weather. You had to put up with them. Most of the time, my parents bought the lunches. It was easier than packing the lunchbox, but once in a while, I’d take a box lunch just for fun and in third grade I attended a school with no cafeteria so I took a lunch every day. I know about home packed lunches,

These lunches were a sandwich (typically bologna or peanut butter and jelly), some chips, a thermos of milk, sometimes- but not always an apple or banana- and a candy bar. That’s what we considered a healthy lunch back in the day. There might be variations- a strange mother might include carrots or celery which would likely end up in the trash. Somehow, we grew up healthy in spite of substandard nutrition by the standards of today’s Federal government. These days, my parents would be serving time for child abuse.

 

So reading about the lunch box police in North Carolina makes me wonder what the government is up to. Just because it is convenient to provide lunches in public schools, how does that make it the job of government to tell us what to feed our kids. It seems in North Carolina, it takes three levels of government to do this and they can’t seem to decide how to distribute the duties. They are apparently all tripping over each other in their eagerness to tell parents what to do.

 

EXCLUSIVE: 2ND N.C. MOTHER SAYS DAUGHTER’S SCHOOL LUNCH REPLACED FOR NOT BEING HEALTHY ENOUGH

What is a federal employee doing inspecting lunch boxes in West Hoke Elementary School and what the heck does a lunch box have to do with education? The education system is unable to deliver education and officials complain that they don’t have enough money. Yet all the while, they waste tons of it inspecting lunches and challenging the responsibilities of parents. No wonder Johnny can’t read.

If the school districts fail with their prime objective, teaching kids to read, write and take their place as educated citizens, who told them to become food police? And even if there is some evidence that food police are needed, why in the world would anyone want the education system to do it? Should there be some competence requirement? These days, what government is competent to tell anyone what to do and when did government diktats become the American way. Where is that fiercely independent American spirit? We don’t need government officials in our kitchens and we don’t need them to tell us what our kids should have in their lunchboxes.

I’m concerned!

I’m getting damn concerned about government officials providing any services because they can’t seem to color within the lines we give them and dammit it is still government by the people and for the people – not government to the people. We did the best we could to keep the California State School monopoly from ruining our kids. We were naive. In fact we didn’t understand how the world of education had changed until it was too late to choose plan B. If I had it to do all over again, I would quit my day job, go on welfare and home school my kids. That would be the only possible way to get a real education for my kids and some value from the taxes I pay.

Get the government out of our lunchboxes! Don’t you agree?

 

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feb 122012
 

Your reporter is distracted!

St. Mark's Square in Venice, Italy.

Image via Wikipedia

There may be news this week but it is getting hard to focus. With just two weeks to go before the big trip, much as this Coot tries to take care of business, my mind keeps wandering. Going out of country for the first time in 40 years just keeps me off kilter. Not that there is much more I can do. The reservations are made. Most of the details have been at least considered but there still remain those doubts that always come along when you do something for the first time. Sure it’s going to be fine. Everybody involved will be happy to see that we get where we are going and make it easy to do what tourists do best- spend money. Still, human nature being what it is, those questions keep forming.

Of course if we knew it all then there wouldn’t be any sense of adventure. The trip to Venice would be just as boring as the morning commute. It is the unknowns as we anticipate this adventure that keep the mind engaged. Flying to Venice is probably just as mundane as flying to Des Moines, cramped seating, lousy food and two transfers.  What’s not to like?

But what about the news?

So with my current state of distraction the search for news stories has become even harder. There just isn’t much uplifting news this week and more to the point, Europe is freezing to death.  Even worse, the epicenter of this unprecedented cold snap is centered on Venice where we will be vacationing. Somehow the cosmos seems to be confusing the Carlson’s with Al Gore. This whole cold spell started with the big meeting in Davos earlier this month where the honchos gather to decide what to do about us peons.  Anyway, those Davos folk are fixated on Global Warming and it seems that mother nature always tries to straighten them when they gather. Al’s ability to cause cold weather when he speaks about global warming is legendary but this is his most monumental impact so far. The problem is,  it threatens to hamper our vacation.  Frost bite in Venice?  How romantic.

Ice clogs the canals of Venice, Italy

We knew that Venice wouldn’t be balmy in March when we rented the apartment but the average temperatures didn’t look bad. Winter in Venice is how you avoid the tourists and see how Venetians live. After all we would arrive just after Carnivale, one of Venice’s big events. Surely he place wouldn’t be shut down. And we rationalized that it couldn’t really get cold in the Mediterranean. We were wrong. It’s cold.

European freeze may last to end of February 

Current forecasts predict warming at the end of February, just in time for our arrival in Venice so we have our fingers crossed. Spring has to come sometime. It might as well be March.

 

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Travel Like a Coot

 Posted by at 04:12  principles
Feb 082012
 

Life’s a bitch..and then you die!

Coot Kiss

Coot Kiss (Photo credit: stewartmorris)

Heaven knows that the lifestyle of a Cantankerous Old Coot isn’t easy. It might seem glamorous and all but fame and fortune don’t come without a price. And then there is actually living up to the title. You have to be on your toes every minute, With all those messages urging you to take the well-worn path of ordinary, charting your own course through life takes determined and dogged commitment. You have to fight the urges to just settle for what everybody else does and do something special. Travel is no exception.

Travel these days means cruises. You can’t avoid the commercials showing happy people eating or playing on cruise ships. It’s like water torture except with pretty pictures. It is so hard to resist. What’s not to like? Lots of food in exotic locals while you are safely isolated from any of the harsh realities of actually visiting a foreign country, trying to understand a foreign language and deal with a foreign culture. You are quarantined in luxurious digs surrounded by shlubs just like you. And you have a crew whose job is to make sure you are happy while you float through alien cultures without ever having to engage. And did I mention the food?

Disclaimer. 

SAN DIEGO - NOVEMBER 11: Stranded Carnival Spl...

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

OK, I confess that this Coot has never been on a cruise. I have been tempted by the commercials just like everyone else. I feel the call of all that fun, all that service and the promise of 24 hour food service. Even a committed Coot finds it difficult to resist the Siren call of the seven day cruise to paradise. In spite of everything, however,  this Coot is still a cruise virgin and it’s not so much from my own inner strength as from that of my wife who has an overwhelming fear of any endeavor designed to make her happy.  Logic tells her that the parties involved are either very sick or have some ulterior motive.

I think this probably comes from exposure to the Love Boat TV show back in the day but that is just my guess. I’ve invested a life-time in trying to understand my wife and I am still a long way from mastery. The best I can manage is to accept that I’ve have inexplicably got myself a good thing and to avoid doing anything that messes it up. So it is that the Carlson’s have escaped cruise mania.

So how does a committed Coot travel?

At the camel market

Engage in a new culture

Cruises may be off the table but still what’s the point of retirement if it means staying home and staring at the walls? Waiting around to die is so unsatisfying. Any Coot worth his salt wants new experiences to sweeten the wait. Not the empty calories of a seven day cruise or a Caribbean resort but something with high fiber and micro nutrients to feed the soul. No pre-digested travel pablum will satisfy a real Coot. Coots need to engage real life in a foreign clime.

So what is our plan?

The goal is to immerse ourselves into life in some exotic locale and avoid the tourist mentality by learning what real life is all about in a foreign land. So to start, we picked a city we would love to know better and rented an apartment. Two weeks is not enough to become a native but it is surely long enough to test the practicality of our plan. If we start longing for our old conventional lifestyle before our visit is over then maybe a cruise is all we want out of life. On the other hand if two weeks only tells us how much there is left to explore then we are ready for Plan B- a month or two for the next trip.

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Feb 052012
 

Ready for Superbowl?

Puppy cuteness

Image via Wikipedia

The media are preoccupied this week with the Superbowl. So what’s the big deal? After a season of football,it’s all pared down to two teams. One team will win and the other won’t. One city will celebrate and the other won’t. When it’s all over, what difference does it make, especially if you don’t live in the Northeast. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll watch the game while I cook some treats for the half-time break. I don’t know if I’m up for Madonna. We may just cut out for the Puppy Bowl or the Law and Order SVU Marathon.

Despite all the hype, the Superbowl is just another football game. Most of them aren’t even good football. There is lots of news related to the spectacle but none of it really matters. It’s just empty calories like the food served at the Superbowl Parties.. So this week the Coots News Service is skipping the Superbowl for news that is important. Global Warming be damned. Europe is freezing to death.

No End in Sight for European Deep Freeze 

So what good is Global Warming if we all freeze to death?

Now that we know that Global Warming is a fact, winter is nothing more than a word. When my wife and I planned our trip to Europe, we quickly dismissed any concerns about visiting in Winter. Winter is so old fashioned. Besides, since we were visiting Venice, how cold could it really get on the water? After all we hear about the wonderful Mediterranean climate how could there be a problem.

Venice, Italy (NASA, International Space Stati...

Venice, Italy (NASA, International Space Station Science, 03/15/07) (Photo credit: NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center)

So we scheduled our time in Venice for the month of March right after Carnival.. No tourists and the weather shouldn’t be a problem, or so we thought. Then I started watching the weather. In January the nights were right at freezing and the days in the 40’s. It was making me nervous but after all we had two months and March is practically Spring. Then last week the temperatures started dropping. Nights were down below 20 and day-times just barely in the 30’s. Venice was beginning to seem like Chicago.

So this week, the CNS is preoccupied with that European cold snap and thinking about getting some long johns to take along. Global Warming may be a sure things but it is not doing anything to help our European trip.

 

 

 

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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