Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

Close but no cigar!

 Posted by at 18:09  principles
Jul 292014
 

Maybe you have seen this early Jack Nicholson movie Five Easy Pieces.  I am not recommending it if you haven’t because Jack Nicholson as a concert pianist working in the oil fields of California is a bit hard to accept.  Jack, in his youth, is showing the curmudgeon qualities that he perfected in his mature roles.  Notice that he is not enjoying his confrontation with the surly waitress one bit.  There is no joy in the battle and even though he wins in logic, not only does Jack not get his toast, he doesn’t get breakfast at all.  Keep this video in mind as you anticipate the Coot Lesson for Friday, Cantankerous Old Coots are not Angry Old Farts.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 292014
 

A 4 x 7 segment mosaic of Buckingham Palace, L...

Image via Wikipedia

Soaring prices push Queen close to ‘fuel poverty’

Today’s feature story takes us across the pond where those innovative Brits are at it again. They have found another way to create poverty, the foundation of socialism. They just define it. They have just created yet another poverty measure. You probably think you know what poverty is. Most of us think that poverty represents having less income than you need to support a basic standard of living – you know cable TV with a 43 inch screen, a cell phone., and enough fast food to give you a hefty paunch. These days, it’s harder to understand since poor people get most everything free or subsidized thanks to the government. Still that’s the normal way to measure it. Well now in the UK you can doubly qualify for poverty. Poverty can mean you are too poor to buy your basic levels of goods and services but you can suffer energy poverty as well. Now this is an interesting concept because it no longer relates to a basic level of household usage. With the new Energy Poverty as defined in Britain, you are energy poor if you spend more than 10% of your yearly income on energy. They have taken socialism to a whole new level. This means that everybody can be energy poor-equal opportunity. Now even the Queen can be poor just like the layabout lad who’s time is just too valuable to waste on a job.. Since the British government has pledged to eliminate energy poverty by 2016, it quite likely means that Parliament will need to retrofit Buckingham Palace to keep the Queen out of poverty.

Those dotty Brits 

It is the Brits , of course, and we haven’t seen eye to eye with them on taxes and the role of government for over 200 years. Still it is disturbing to see a government decide how much a household should spend on anything. It is strikingly similar to the Chinese policy that couples can have only one child. Maybe the Brits would take that one too but they’d probably be too scared to implement it on the new immigrants who still want to procreate. But I digress.

Next Steps 

I guess the next question is what does the government intends to do to keep it’s pledge. They clearly need to establish a database for every household, capturing income and expenses. This shouldn’t be a problem for the Brits after socializing medical treatment, still it’s a major enterprise and will require the US government is taking to capture every American’s medical history. When that’s all done then the fun will start. What will the government do with households found to be in energy poverty.? There are so many options but they all have problems. First of all, some of those households live in houses that are too big, or too old and drafty. Maybe they move them to new government housing built to standards for family size and energy efficiency. Or maybe they move people around to equalize the space utilization. If your house is too big for your household, then move in another household to make it better. Or maybe they scaled your income to your house or the other way around. The mind boggles at the options.

Even the socialized Brits might argue with some of those ideas so perhaps a better approach is just to ration energy. You get so much for your household and then the meter cuts off. It if gets too cold, then you have an incentive to fix it by increasing your household size or demolishing part of your house. I don’t think it would take long for demonstrations demanding that the government solve this problem though and then you could go back to plan A.

Buckingham Palace in London, England. taken by...

Image via Wikipedia

Still, it’s an interesting concept so long as your goal is to drag everyone down to subsistence level. I for one, am eager to learn how our socialist cousins across the pond work this all out and especially how this might fit with the plans of the European government. Maybe the Germans would pay for it just like they do for the Greeks. It’s a complicated process for all the government layers but it will sure simplify life for the rank and file Brits, maybe even the Queen. Still, my hat is off to those creative Brits always looking for a new way to advance socialism.

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Jul 292014
 
celebration

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hihi

That darn Justin.

He sets me up the 200th post on Cantankerous Old Coots and gives me absolutely no warning. Plus the next scheduled post is our Coots News Service Summary. Not much room in that format to pontificate and blather about what it means to be a Cantankerous Old Coot.

One Year!

I’s just a bit more than one year that Coots has been open for business and it’s popularity still gives me pause. Everyone expects some philosophizing at a time like this. There must be some lesson here, something that we have learned over the year. Maybe there must but there is one, it escapes me.

I don’t feel any different.

I’m the same clueless old guy muttering in my corner- only I’m a year older, shedding brain cells by the minute. All I can do it look back at our vision when Coos got it’s start. When I decided to take mercy on Justin and keep him from falling flat on his face. I don’t remember what I was thinking with that first post. I don’t think I envisioned that one year down the road we would have built an audience.

Our Manifesto

I do remember thinking that it we ever expected Cantankerous Old Coots to be read, people would have to understand what it means to be a Cantankerous Old Coot. So I formulated out manifesto. I just reread it and it still makes a strong statement. Who ever imagined that I had that in me. But, to me, that’s the meaning of cantankerous. Digging deep inside and discovering all the spunk and spirit that you thought you had lost long ago 0r had beaten out of you by your job or just life.

Maybe it’s not much in the great big game of life but even a mild protest now and again can light some fires you thought would never spark again.

Do us a favor!  Please!

In celebration of the 200th post here at Coots, I’d like to ask every reader to do two things. First go back and read our first two posts at Coots, Justin’s introduction and our Manifesto- Sacred Cows and Sleeping Dogs. Then just take a minute and leave a comment telling us when you first discovered Coots. Even it its not your nature to comment, make an exception just this once.

And Thanks from all us Coots

Thanks on behalf of Justin, Bob and myself- Jen, too, wherever you have gone. It’s been a great year.

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Up with Memory Loss

 Posted by at 18:09  Up With
Jul 292014
 
To Do List

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” Rita Mae Brown

There are some good things about getting old. You get better at rationalization.  At least when things start not working so well, you make an effort to discover something that is better about your life these days. It’s a challenge but aging is not for the weak. Survivors do whatever it takes and become experts at rationalization.

Crutches can help

Memory is one of the things that doesn’t work so well these days. Witness the lists scattered all around my house in my attempt to keep control of everything. But lists don’t fix everything.  Lists don’t help remembering what name goes with the familiar, smiling face at the supermarket as I struggle to find clues about who this person is. Mostly I hurry on after saying ‘Nice to see you again.’ but there is always the nagging thought that maybe I really do want to talk to them if I only knew who they were. It would be nice if that brain could still remember everyone I know and keep me current on all my responsibilities. Sadly, my brain seems to be in retirement mode also and it only works when it wants to. But that is not so bad as you think.

The good side of memory loss

It turns out that there are benefits to not remembering things. The old coot member (this is clearly a Freudian slip.  Should have been memory of course) may be failing but it is not as bad as you might think. People don’t expect much from you anyway. What makes it sweet it that everybody gives you a pass because you’re old. Forgot to pick up your wife at the doctor? No problem because everybody is re leaved that you managed to get home at all. Don’t recognize that face with the hand reaching out to shake yours? No problem because you do remember that he loaned you money last week. When you get old, people just expect you to forget so why not make it work for you?

Eliminate what you don’t like to do

Take control of your life like never before by eliminating everything you don’t want to do. After all, you’re old and nobody expects you to remember things so help them out. Only remember what you want to do. All you need to say when somebody asks is that you forgot. They can’t hold you accountable for the aging process. You get a pass. When the expectations are below ground level, just showing up makes every body happy.

*******Since you readers seem to have forgotten the invitation of past posts and completely ignored the Cantankerous Old Coots University, I will chalk to up to short term memory loss and give you all another chance.  Sign up for our mailing list and receive the first few lessons of the Cantankerous Old Coots University absolutely free.  You will also be signed up for future mailings and special offerings.  If you join us before September 7th, you will be eligible for a big discount on the whole Cantankerous Old Coots University course.  If you don’t, I have your IP address…..I’m just sayin’…..

-Justin






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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Down with August

 Posted by at 18:09  Down with, rants
Jul 292014
 

I’ve got the August Blues

Too Darn Hot

Too Darn Hot

We are only halfway through August and this Coot is already ready to throw in the towel. August starts out in the negative, if for no other reason than being the hottest month of the year in these parts. Hot, in the idyllic sierra foothills means 100 degrees or better. It stresses the plants;It dampens the spirits; and it makes everyone long for cooler days when it is pleasant to be outdoors;

In addition September brings a change of pace, the end of Summer, the start of school and an invigorated commitment to stop playing around and getting serious about earning some more income. All the more reason to want the doldrums of August to end. Continue reading »

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook