Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

Lethal Christmas Cheer

 Posted by at 06:21  Down with, Headline News, principles, rants
Dec 222010
 
Image via Wikipedia

Have you heard this one?  Wait, here is a disclaimer before I even start.  If you want to keep up some delusion of the greatness of the country and faith in humanity at Christmas time, don’t read further.  This story makes me cringe.

Let’s start at the beginning.  It was a lovely morning in Prince William County, Virginia near Christmas.  At one public high school a group of 10 boys gets together wearing hideous Christmas sweaters and singing carols to their fellow students.  They call themselves the Christmas Sweater Club and I think it sounds like a very nice thing to do.

If that is not enough Christmas Cheer, the boys began to hand out those small candy canes wrapped in plastic.  This is where it goes downhill on a greased rocket sled.  The boys get detention and disciplinary action for their kind and fun loving actions.

They were accused of trying to maim and injure fellow students, with the mini candy canes!  I was unaware of the lethality of the Candy Cane besides getting it stuck in your throat.  Apparently, you can sharpen the candy cane with your mouth and use it to inflict harm.  I was not aware of this but there it is.  Don’t stare too closely at the picture over there, you could poke your eye out.

These kids are also getting nailed for littering and creating a disturbance.  It seems the principal had told them that not everyone wants Christmas cheer and they should keep it to themselves.  What a crock of reindeer poop.  I know of one principal that should be on Santa’s Naughty list and probably deserves a swift kick in the pants from the rest of the country.

I hope that this doesn’t discourage these fine young men from continuing to spread the Christmas cheer to their fellow man.  We need Christmas and things to belive in without so much hate as this principal seems to have.  Screw her, good luck to these kids.

Here is a link to the video of the story from the local news.  Watch it and try not to be outraged, then tell me what you are thinking in the comments below.  Especially you, sitting there reading this who hasn’t commented before.  Yes you in the blue shirt.  Please comment already!

Also, share on the social networks if you would be so kind…Thank you and Merry Christmas.  If you don’t celebrate Christmas, Happy Holidays.  If you don’t celebrate holidays, we could probably use a guest post because you are more cantankerous than I am.

-Justin

Related articles
  • Don’t Throw Canes & Don’t Sing Christmas Songs (gadabout-blogalot.com)

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Ask a Coot Saturday: Question 3

 Posted by at 10:50  Ask A Coot!, Plain 'ol Cantankerous
Dec 112010
 
IMG_1143
Image by PSPMeet via Flickr

Hello there!  I hope this week was full of both Joy and Cantankerousness.  Today we have another Question answered by the Coots.  If you have a question that you would like Bob, Ralph and myself to answer, send it to askacoot@cantankerousoldcoots.com and we will bring 3 different takes on Cantankerosity.

First, I have a small bone to pick with you all, the reading audience.  I have not received nearly the response that I had hoped when we started the Ask A Coot feature.  As a matter of fact, I have no, I repeat NO more questions waiting.  I will have to make some more up.  And again, I really freakin’ confused at why these pictures keep showing up when the text is analyzed.  If you have a suggestion, let me know.

Today’s Question is almost philosophical in scope.  It comes to us from our own Ralph.  He wrote: :  So tell me, since the President pardons the Thankgiving Turkey every year, what does the President eat for Thanksgiving?

A great question.  I think it is only fair to let him answer first.

Ralph:

This seems to be a closely guarded secret leaving this Coot to speculation and reason in search for an answer.  Clearly it would be hypocritical for the President to pardon Turkey 1 and then kill and eat Turkey 2.  The Presidential turkey surely follows the same convention as the Presidential  airplane. Whichever one he is on is Air Force 1.  Applying this logic, any turkey reaching the President’s table is automatically Turkey 1.  Therefore the President cannot be eating turkey without at the same time being a total hypocrite.  Totally unacceptable.

As to what the President does eat, the mind can certainly boggle over the possibilities:  a nice rib rost, maybe a goose or an exultation of roasted larks.  Eating meat at all after pardoning the star seems to this coot to be the beginning of a very slippery slope.  Imagine what PETA would say?

Surely they would demand the pardon of any beasts destined for the President’s Thanksgiving or multiply pardons in the case of larks.  Being surrounded with PR geniuses, I am sure that the President plays it very safe on Thanksgiving.  First, the menu is top secret to protect against any misinterpretation of his sensitivity but second my theory is that Thanksgiving at the White House means the very safe and delicious vegetarian delight – tofurkey.

Justin:

Personally I think that this year he ate crow.   In more ways than one.  But in reality, I think that the White House is only occupied by liars and hypocrites.  Over the years the job has evolved to require it.  I don’t think there is any room in Washington for people to be totally honest anymore.  Abraham Lincoln would be sad.  Thomas Jefferson would shrug his shoulders.  George Washington would probably try to philosophize about the problem.  And all of them would be eating a lovely Turkey Dinner.

There is quite a mentality of “Here is what I believe, this is policy” and “don’t look this way because “policy” doesn’t apply to me.” that happens at the same time in modern politics.  All I can see is a bunch of posturing for cameras and the press, hoping to put a positive spin on whatever crisis is facing the country at the moment.  Behind the cameras, things go on as normal.  Now I am not saying that the men we elect to be president are not good people to start with.  (hold your protests even Jimmy Carter was good when he was a baby)  Politics changes men into people who pander to popular opinion and lie and breed hypocrisy.

Pardoning a turkey is just a silly thing that provides a photo opportunity for the President.  The turkey used to go to Disneyland and live a life of luxury, in turkey terms that is.  The turkey federation has been bringing turkeys to the White House for years, Eisenhower and Johnson ate their birds.  It took Kennedy to let the bird live.  It’s all silly.  Eat the damn bird, that is what they are bred for.  Besides, have you ever actually looked at a turkey?  Ugly as sin walking around, a beautiful thing roasted golden brown with dressing and cranberries.

What should the President eat?  Eat the Turkey.  Maybe we should start a new tradition where the president chops off the turkey’s head right there on national TV and then proceeds to field dress and pluck it.  Of course we would have to start beheading PETA’s people and that would be fine with me.  I don’t know that most of the current presidential prospects could handle dispatching a turkey.  I’ll bet Eisenhower could have without blinking an eye.

Well Folks that is a lot of information, and we have yet to hear from Bob.  he will weigh in in the comments and probably blow us all away.

Thanks for reading, and remember, send in your questions no matter the absurdity of it!  We will answer and change your name for anonymity’s sake.  Submit questions to askacoot@cantankerousoldcoots.com

Related articles

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Down with Lazy Employees!

 Posted by at 08:14  Down with, principles, rants
Nov 032010
 

My wife has come home with an interesting problem lately.  If you didn’t know, and frankly from this website, why would you, she is a Nurse in the ER of one of the big hospitals here in Utah.  The other day, her supervisor pulled her aside and told her that some of the “techs” were complaining that she was too hard on them and too demanding.

Now in this situation, a tech is someone who assists the nurses and doctors.  The majority are going to nursing school or just working a second job.  They get to do the mundane tasks and things that need to be done to *keyword alert* ASSIST the nurses in the nurses job.  Some of these punks think that they deserve the same respect as the nurses, just because they are going to school to become nurses.  I say Bah!  They are subordinates until they pass the NCLEX!

Now, my wife is not a supervisor.  She has no aspirations to be such.  However, she knows her job and will utilize all of the resources need to do things at her job, like save lives, or diagnose STD’s.  Some of those resources are the techs.  Please note here that the JOB of a tech is to assist the nurses.

So, here is my wife being too demanding to people who are supposed to be helping her.  She said if they are on the internet and just sitting around talking why shouldn’t she use them?  I would have to agree.  I wouldn’t even pander the petty-anny requests to say “please” and “would you mind” for most things.  You see, I have a background in management and supervising.  I have been trained to have people do their jobs.

I also have a father who was convinced that he was still in the military and, as such, required the no questions asked jump up and do what you are asked right now mentality.  I still have that to a point, especially in the workplace when it comes to people doing their jobs.  So, I ask you fair readers of the Coots, what would you do, or how would you advise my wife to react?

Me, I said we should watch Full Metal Jacket and get her in the mood for some no nonsense demanding of people to do what they should(Why you whiny little maggot!).  That may get her fired but it is a good solution.  If I was in the same situation I am sure I would demand that these people do their jobs.  The old mantra from my restaurant days comes back, “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.”  They may not have anything to clean, but they sure as hell can find something to do instead of look at facebook or email.

I once sent a girl home early because she refused to work.  The next day her daddy came in and yelled at me for being too hard on his little girl.  I told him she could either do what she was supposed to do or find another job.  he was pissed off but could not argue that point.  I don’ t know how anyone can argue that point with my wife either.

Now I want to hear what you have to say about this.  Do you think that people should just be able to float through work and barely do what needs to be done or do you think that they can always find a way to earn their paycheck?  I want to hear some conversation on this.  We are getting quite a few visitors every day and only Ralph and Bob comment with an occasional nugget tossed in by Steve.  Heather did weigh in last week so she has a pass, but everyone else out there reading this, I am capturing your IP address and well………

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

On Being Cantankerous and Piratical

 Posted by at 12:38  Coot Law, Plain 'ol Cantankerous, Up With
Sep 172010
 
International Talk Like a Pirate Day
Image via Wikipedia

If you start thinking about pirates what comes to mind?  Those fools in Somalia that may be effective but ultimately are hunted by every Navy in the world including the British, French and the Good Old USA and then shot with pinpoint accuracy in high seas by the greatest fighting force the world has ever known?  Or do you think (as you should) about the so called Golden Age of Pirates, that time between 1650 and 1750 when pirates and privateers ravaged the Spanish fleets, all for gold stolen from the indigenous peoples of America.

That era holds a romance and fascination for this Coot that is for sure.  That is why this weekend will be so fun.  Today is my birthday as Ralph has so pointed out on Wednesday in this post, but contrary to his opinion the big celebration this weekend is for International Talk Like a Pirate Day!  If you have never heard of TLAPD, now is the time to amend your ways.  It is a day to celebrate pirates, and most things pirate.

Look at it this way, Pirates really were bad people.  Rape Pillage and Plunder was their Modus Operandi and stealling other peoples ships is not very nice.  But then again it was the Spanish….but I digress.  Many pirates were larger than life characters with reputations that would never hold up today with a quick google search and the AP following their every move on sattelite.  But over 300 years ago stories were spun and fear grew from the exploits of a few men.

Fast forward to a time where these stories are all that is left.  A time when Hollywood was just getting started and needed stories to capture imaginations.  Stars were born and pirates were movie stars.  See the Sea Hawk or Captain Blood with Errol Flynn, they are still great adventures.  Walt Disney loved pirates so much he made a whole ride dedicated to them.  And then came Treasure Island.  A movie based on Robert Louis Stevenson‘s book (go read it if you have not, it is great and the movie barely does it justice) that truly defined an imaginary world of pirates that we have all fallen in love with.

It was Robert Newton who played Long John Silver that has perpetuated much of how we think pirates were in the past.  They may have been nothing like that but here we are now and pirates are cool.  Look at the success Disney had with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, movies based on a freaking amusement park ride!  People love them so much they had to modify the ride to fit the movie that was based on the ride!

But that brief and only partially accurate history brings us to two guys who had a screw loose and decided not to tighten it but to talk like pirates on an international holiday.  John “ol Chumbucket” Baur and Mark “Capn Slappy” Summers created this fantastic lunacy and I have been celebrating faithfully for 5 years now.

Here is your assignment for this weekend.  Go watch a pirate movie.  Wear something black and Talk like a Pirate on Sunday!  It is a bunch of fun.  There are phrases and helpful hints over on the pirate guys website http://talklikeapirate.com.  Spend some time there, download some songs, especially Tom Smith’s talk like a pirate day anthem.  Oh and use this google address: http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=xx-pirate&q=&oe=UTF-8&tab=dw it will make google speak pirate at you…it’s pretty cool.

Be a pirate this weekend, you can be truly Cantankerous as a saltly sea dog!  Now I just have to figure out how to teach Sunday School in Pirate….

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

Down With Uppity Medical Personnel!

 Posted by at 12:26  Down with, rants
Jul 142010
 

Traumatic experiences are never fun.  Last week and a bit before was one of those.  But it is amazing the ways that people handle things.

My new son was less than 10 minutes old when he was rushed to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit because he breathed at the wrong time.  That was not fun, but little did we know that the NICU was almost heaven.  Not pleasant and full of fluffy clouds and angels, but with the doctors and nurse practitioners thinking they are one step away from God.

I have been in hospitals before with my daughter.  If you haven’t read before, my 4 year old has been in and out of the hospital since she was 11 months old with kidney disease.  Many surgeries, ICU, and finally a kidney transplant.  She was always in the Childrens Hospital and they were always good with explanations and family involvement.

The NICU at the main adult hospital did it’s level best to make myself and my wife (who is a trauma nurse in the ER at the same hospital) feel like a pair of 16 year old kids who were either ignorant of the consequences of pregnancy, or too retarded to realize what was going on.  Now, my wife is a college graduate and I am very close.  We both have above average IQ’s and can figure things out fairly easily.  We are not as stupid as they want to think we are.

There were several times that I just had to shut up.  My burgeoning Cantankerousness was going to get me thrown out of the place.  Or at least make someone cry.

I sat in on one of the care conferences about my son and the main doctor was at one end of the table like Jesus himself at the last supper with the nurse practitioner on his right hand side.  I really felt like the outcome was “I decree this treatment, and so shall it be” while everyone else was ready to say “Yes Master” and go on.  Of course I was still shocked and didn’t have much to say then, I am much wittier later.

I won’t go into further specifics because that would be dangerously close to a slander lawsuit but suffice it to say that we broke more of their emphemeral “rules” than we even knew were available.  There were several times when my wife was arguing about tests or procedures that they wanted to do on this new baby and I was literally afraid that it was going to escalate into her being removed by security.

I have said it before, it is all fine and dandy to spout off a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo to say me, and be able to do what you want to the kid, but when the person you are spouting off to actually knows what all of that is and how it should be done, and who also happens to be post partum and exhausted it is not going to be pretty.

The baby was born on Thursday, and by Saturday I was literally afraid they were going to find a way to bar us from the NICU and do whatever the hell they wanted on the kid.

The prospect of staying in what I have started calling the 3rd ring of hell ala Dante‘s Inferno, for another 14 – 21 days was infuriating.  There was a point we hit about Friday where he was only in the place for IV antibiotics and my wife began arguing that he did not need to be in the ICU but there is no step down in that hospital.

Eventually my daughter with kidney disease ended up in the childrens hospital with an infection and we got the baby transferred up there.  They could have let him go home that day, Monday.  not 2 weeks in the ICU.  Now we are all home and have some good stories about being in the presence of Nazi’s.

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook

 Older Entries  Newer Entries