While discretion may be the better part of valor, and it will probably save your marriage more than once, that self editing is not cantankerous.
In previous lessons you learned to say what you think and say it when you feel it. This lesson is really no different, just a re-iteration of what should be an ingrained part of your cantankerousness already.
Say what is on your mind and damn the consequences.
America has been proven time and time again to be a great place to live. We have a fantastic Constitution that guarantees Citizens the right to free speech. That has been taken to extremes in the past but it is still a a core value for Americans.
While there are several states that still strive to limit the freedom of speech that Federal law guarantees, the truth is, the pandering, mealy mouthed politicians of this country are trying to play both sides against the middle and make this country a bunch of poofy, we can all get along if we don’t talk to each other mean sissies.
Face it, you are going to piss someone off in your lifetime. Not everyone is going to like you. You will not be friends with everyone. You may be likeable and people will like you, or at least tolerate you but not everyone will. There are people I can’t stand to be around so I don’t associate with them.
The problem comes when you are trying to use this self editing to change your intent or position to try and get everyone to like you. It can’t be done. It is much better to come out and say what you need to say and risk offending people. It will either work out or it won’t. Either way it will feed your cantankerousness.
Sure, you may get in trouble, you may even go to jail, but you are still true to your new cantankerous self. The constitution guarantees it, cantakerousness demands it, but it is still hard to get over that social block that has been beaten into us by our mothers to be nice. Get over it. it will be ok.
I would like to quote John Adams or George Washington here, but I can’t think of anything appropriate so I will settle for Denis Leary. “Life sucks, get a helmet.” That should sum it up nicely. Quit editing yourself and say what you think.
Unless of course it will endanger your marriage or send you to federal prison for what promises to be the “longest night of your life” (Shawshank Redemption, look it up) then, discretion is the better part of valor.
Soldier on good people,
Justin
I found myself nodding my head through your whole post. I think I still self edit way to much, but I also desire to to honest even if everyone does not like it. I would say my inner catankerous old coot is a work in progress. As much as I liked the whole thing…the mention of Shawshank in the end pushed it over the top. (still one of my all time favorite movies) Yeah, to avoid THAT long night I would surely keep my peace.
Steve
There is definitely a fine balance of honesty and directness in the world today. There are way too many lawyers that have seen to the “need to please everyone and offend no one” attitude of today. Be true to yourself and only edit when it really needs it! Thanks for stopping in on this site Steve!
Just basically wanted to point out I seriously value your work on this blog site as well as the high-quality content you make. These kind of posting have a tendency to be exactly what makes myself going through the evening time. I found this article after a great close pal of my very own recommended it to me. We do some blogging as well as site-building professionally and I am always grateful to check out others contributing top quality data towards online community. I am going to surely be following and additionally have book marked your webpage to my bebo account for other people to see.