- Image by Ed Yourdon via Flickr
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”
Redd Fox
Unless you are a total recluse, you know some health nuts. These people are fixated on ‘taking care of their bodies’. They would never dream of eating a hamburger. It’s got to be a broiled chicken breast or if they are total loons- a vegeburger. Then they pretend to enjoy their food while they smirk at you and your unhealthy choice. They know how much fat is in anything you name and whether it is saturated, unsaturated, poly-unsaturated or, the crème de la crème of bad, trans fat. These are the people who decided ,in the interest of their own good health, not to eat anything that tastes good. Since they get no pleasure from food, they compensate by making you feel bad eating something delicious. It is an evil perversion and health nuts deserve a special place in hell.
It’s pretty clear that health nuttiness doesn’t make them healthier. They don’t look any better. They get sick just as often and instead of enjoying life they take pride in making sure that anybody around them can’t enjoy life. There is never an end to their quest for perfect health. Taking one step on the path, instead of producing praise just causes them to step up the program- and the abuse
“Bob, it is so good that you have given up eating read meat. Your body will be so happy.”
As you smile at their encouragement they continue.
“Of course, you really want to give up that nasty meat all together. It’s so bad for you.”
And its not just food. Maybe you start taking walks to keep that blood flowing and clear your head. You feel pretty good. Just don’t tell the health nut.
“Fred, that’s a great first step.”
Don’t get cocky because they continue.
“We’ll have you doing an Iron Man in no time.”
This coot has learned over time not to give a health nut any encouragement. These unhappy people only live to suck all the joy de vivre out of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room with them. Don’t give them an inch. Don’t concede even the smallest of their points because when you do, they have you where they want you- feeling guilty.
Enjoy yourself and let health be damned. Eat that savory hamburger with pleasure, wiping your chin from time to time as the delicious juices drip. Walk if you must but be careful about jogging because the next step is running a marathon. Focus on enjoyment and don’t let guilt get his foot in the door. Health nuts have forgone pleasure to achieve the false nirvana of ‘good health’. The only pleasure they have left is suckering you to follow them. If you concede an inch to their fixation, you are as good as doomed to join them. If not in the achievement of perfect health- at least by reaching a state of perfect unhappiness.
It is a slippery slope to health nuttitidude.
My wife has started a health nut-esque trend, but we have all decided that nothing is strictly off limits and therefore not a big deal. I still have 2-3 cheeseburgers a week, by choice, instead of the 6-7. We ate Thanksgiving dinner with abandon, even though the pumpkin pie came this past weekend. (Apple and pecan were served on Thanksgiving day, I had both and I didn’t feel guilty.)
The main thing we have noticed is that you don’t need the processed foods. We have given up box mix food for making things fresh and it just tastes better and it doesn’t take any longer than going to a drive through.
We still enjoy life, nothing is restricted, but it is surprising what just doesn’t entice you anymore when you make good things at home
Once the health nuttiness starts,it is very hard to reverse. Keep a close eye on your wife. She is bound to get all kinds of bad information on the job.
Yea two words, Jillian Michaels. You have to keep close tabs on anything that chick says and double check it before you get mind zapped and just follow her every whim.
I get my health advice from the most knowledgeable hypocrite I know. Its a good system, if I ever stray too far down the path to ‘Oh god, I can’t eat that, its meat!’ he’ll snap me back to normal.
I figger if my doc “cluck clucks” but doesn’t harangue I’m striking the right balance.
The reality is there is “healthy” as related to the latest fad…a bad thing (Euell Gibbons died early) and then there is “healthy” as in real.
Example, today I saw a commercial for a drug to fight gout. Half the commercial was drug interaction warnings.
If you have gout, look me up…I can cure it without drugs. Just don’t try to pay me…then I’d go to prison for practicing medicine without a license.
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Wibratory,
You obviously need help and Coots are at your service.