Down with- Ugly Cars

 Posted by at 04:47  Down with
Sep 212013
 

Pop Quiz

The exercise for today is easy. Tell me the last time you saw a car that made you sit up and notice? Bonus points if you exclaimed out loud. “Damn, that car is hot! I’ve got to get me one.” Take your time. We will wait.

Finding a sweet looking car is hard

Did you come up blank? We sure did. It is tough today. It isn’t that there aren’t some knockout cars. It is just that they cost a gazillion dollars and if you live in backwater Sacramento, you are never going to see one, let alone ‘get you one.’ Today the run of the mill car is not so much ugly as boring. They all look alike. Have you noticed that there is one shape? It doesn’t matter what the make or hardly the model. Because of the dangers from the airbags, you can’t let children ride in the front seat so only swinging singles buy two door cars these days and the evolution of the sedan into an all-purpose vehicle with a hatch is virtually universal. It is hard here not to get sidetracked into a rant dedicated to the safety features mandated by the government but we are focused here on the topic at hand – cars today are pedestrian and indistinguishable.

Are we all mindless cogs?

So everybody drives some sort of four door car with cargo space in the back and you can’t tell a Subaru from a Saab (oh wait, Saab is dead so I guess you can tell). I don’t know who to blame for this. There are so many possibilities but I think you have to give the final award to the guys that buy the things. What kind of life must we be living these days if these cars give us a thrill? Why else would you put out the kind of money that used to buy a house for one of these eyesores.

But back to ugly

We haven’t even started with the truly ugly cars- the ones that make you want to stab your eyes out every time you pass one. You know the ones I mean – the Prius for starters with it’s odd front end and the two part greenhouse in the back, Even in the dark old days of the 80’s never did GM think up a car design that ugly. Then there are the Tweedledum and Tweedledee of ugliness, the Scion and the Cube. Fortunately people don’t seem to be buying these so I don’t have to scream in pain too often on the road.

So now it is time for group participation. Why do you think cars are so boring? What are you doing about it?  Have we missed an ugly that needs ridicule?  Let us know.  And if you drive one of the real eyesores, share with us, for the love of God, why.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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