Feb 232015
 

English: Barack Obama delivers a speech at the...

I have noticed a trend in my email lately.  No not the typical SPAM about a dead relative to leave me money, or even the ones about Obama changing laws to get car insurance for $3 a month or some ridiculous thing.

I have noticed that many of those emails come in, from the future.  That’s right, the future.  Hours or even days into the future.  Now, I am not really sure why I have been chosen to be a prognosticator of deals and money forgotten by some millionaires in other countries, but I am.  I am able to tell my SPAM fortune.

It seems that I can also predict (somewhat) how Google will look at this post.  Thanks to Bob I know know I have to ramble on about this for another 150 words or so, inserting links and pictures as they come.   Or should I?  Hold on, I will check my email and see if the future holds anything  that will help us in the search engine rankings.

Nope, nothing is there, but I can make untold riches with this new system that will generate $2460 per day.  That would be helpful.  Not likely, but helpful.

So, now I have a question.  To all of you out there, do you get mail from the future or is it just me?  If you are getting mail from the future then I am no longer special and will have to, well, do something.  But I would still like to hear from some of you out there.

And another question, who sends these things and who writes the programs that allow people to see into the future and send me the email?  Why can’t they use that power and send me the winner of the Superbowl and the world series so that I can bet on them?  I guess their power does not go that far….cheeky bastards.

let me know your thoughts.

-Justin

 

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Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Down with Spam!

 Posted by at 15:46  Down with, rants
Nov 232013
 

This is not a new topic.  This is not even fun.  There are probably ten million posts about the evils of spam and here is another one.  Evey morning for the past week or more I have been bombarded with over 400 of the same message, from the same sender.  And they all are about viagra.

I really have tried to unsubscribe from these but I still end up with a ton of email.  It is easy enough to delete but still, it takes so much time sorting through the crap.  I know each and every one of you out there are sick of it too.  Monty python has a slightly different take on spam:

That is still one of the funniest sketches ever.  Now, onto email.  There are those lists you get on that you may even opt on for that send you so much $#!^ every day they might as well be spam.  And these guys are the ones who say how much they hate spam as much as you do.  Maybe that is why our email list here is so anorexic.

These “bombardment marketers” (hey I coined a new phrase let’s get that out there) give everyone a bad name.  We have been trying to grow our list here at the coots and so far, it is pathetically small.  It is populated only by those who write here at the coots, plus a pity subscribe from Dr. Doolin from website in a weekend.  Even Bob was assimilated er invited to join the coots after his joining of the list.

It leads me to theorize.  There are 2 possibilities when it comes to our email list here.  One: people are so afraid of getting bombarded with Cantankerous Spam that they don’t sign up, or, Two: they found out that we make subscribers write for us.  I suspect number one is the culprit.  Here is the skinny on that though, I have been so disappointed with the lack of signups that I have sent out Zero emails to the list.  People on the list probably have forgotten about it.

Even the bait of a free ebook in what promises to be a fantastic course on how to be Cantankerous has not helped.  But I am going to put it out there again, with our fantastic new sign up pop up and the little sign up form right over there———>

Or below.  We will give you the fabulous ebook that includes the first five lessons from the Coots University as well as exclusive Cantankerousness and future discounts to the full course when it comes about.  Sign up below, I swear you will not receive 50 emails from us a day.  You will be lucky to get one a month.  If I feel like it.  It is hard to lose with a deal like that.

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Maybe I will get some hacker buddies together and figure out some code that will destroy the servers of anyone who sends out spam.  That would be worth an email sign up or two I am sure.

Have a Great weekend.  Halloween is Sunday, go dress up as something scary and frighten the children.  Then come back and tell me about it!

-Jusitn

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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