Jan 242013
 

I was in a superb mood.  Really, truly, fantastic.  Evil plans were coming together nicely, I had plans for the weekend, college was going ok and the parts for my computer were on their way.  Unfortunately I was also near the end of a film; ‘When Harry met Sally’ if we’re being specific.

It’s important to note that my choice in this was limited, I had to watch that movie as homework for my college course.  Sure I had a choice of days on which to watch it but I had to before the end of the week.  Not that I mind the movie – in fact, throughout most of it the dialogue was beautifully written and well executed.

Who am I kidding, the dialogue was brilliant until the very end.

However it still suffers from the one flaw in almost every romantic comedy every (almost added for the simple fact that I’ve not seen all of them in existence and therefore cannot say ‘every’).  The happily ever after.

Now I’m female (obviously), I get the whole desire for things to work out nicely at the end with sugar on top.  For years I loved it and wanted nothing more than to see it end well.  When I found my own ‘Prince charming’ (he would laugh at that) I still enjoyed the movies but there was an added smugness about it; almost like you’d joined some secret club.

Fast forward a few years and I can’t stand them any more.  Not because I lost my prince, but because reality decided to smack us around a bit.  There is no ‘happily ever after’ that carries on forever and ever amen, at least, never as its portrayed in films.  Worse, if you’ve ever had it, seeing films where it remains that way can throw up all sorts of negative emotions you neither asked for nor needed.

Maybe I’m just not their target market any more.  Obviously young, female, and realistic don’t gel well with their audience.  Or maybe I’m just being overly sensitive about this whole thing (it’s been known to happen), but you have to wonder what the actual goal of these movies is.

We’re fed them from when we’re really young.  Much of our ideas about life and love come from the traditional model displayed in these films (Disney too now I think about it, but come on, its Disney).  We grow up thinking on some level that we’ll be swept off our feet, lifted out of whatever mess we’re in, and carried off into the sunset where mundane things like paying the bills and living with choices don’t matter.  This is never going to happen however to a certain extent we’re brainwashed!

And then when it doesn’t work out with our male counterparts we either ‘hate’ men for a while (in a very upset and irrational way), decide that the poor guy wasn’t ‘the one’ (really?), or think that we’ve done something wrong and hope, maybe for a long time, that he’ll come back.  How exactly does that help anyone?

I’m all for inspiring hope but surely it should be hope in something that may actually happen.  Causing misery so widespread that ‘chicks cry at romantic movies’ is a social norm shouldn’t be right.  And yes, some girls cry because they’re so happy and in fact there’s a whole host of reasons.  I still don’t think all those years of watching movies like that and wishing did me, or anyone else for that matter, any good.

What I’d like to know is just how badly this affects the male side of the population?  Oh, and for any of the fairer sex out there (yes, I hate that phrase too), am I nuts?

Jun 192011
 
behold... the funky turkey baster!!

Image by limowreck666 via Flickr

It’s Father’s Day!

Did you notice? Maybe you missed all the TV ads reminding you to remember your dear old Dad with a nice wrench. Cut the crap! Everybody knows that Dads were rendered unnecessary by the feminist revolution and the discovery of new ways to use a turkey baster. When is the last time you saw a TV show or movie with a Dad that mattered? It might be 60 years in my case. Maybe you young sprouts have never seem one- ever. Dad’s today are always dumb, often venal and would be living on the street without their wives to keep them from disaster. (What this says about women today is a question we won’t even ponder.) Marriage is a cruel mockery of its former glory. No wonder the only people who want to get married today are homosexuals. Somebody should warn them about being careful what you wish for.

But back to the news.

Trying to find good news is always hard but trying to find good news about fathers is almost impossible. I was looking for inspiring stories about fathers today, men who stepped up. Men who, in spite of all the criticisms of fatherhood and the built-in limitations of the male gender, took charge and showed their little nippers how to take on the world and win. Alas, that’s not what the reporters want us to see. Today’s model Dads are metro sexual wusses sharing their tender moments in carefully staged photo shoots to reveal their softer sides.

Hollywood’s Most Sporting Dads

The wussification of Dads is old news by now, even rock stars want to fit the model.

Dads Who Rock

The true feelings of the media show up most clearly in movies. Not only are fathers unnecessary, they reflect the base and venal nature of the male sex and nothing good can be expected from that combination. Usually the media avoids stating this directly. We have been so conditioned that a mild suggestion will cause us all to break into enthusiastic agreement just like Pavlovian dogs. Salon Magazine is an exception.  They keep it right up front.  Today they provide a  top ten list of bad father movies just in time to head off any warm fuzzies you might have about dear old Dad on his day.

The 10 worst dads in movie history

There is not much to say about being a father these days. You don’t get much respect anywhere you look. Nobody remembers Ward Clever or Robert Young and even if they did, they would turn masculine responsibility and family leadership into a joke. My suggestion for modern-day fathers on Father’s Day is just not to play the game. Ignore the whole thing. Everybody else will too and tomorrow will be just another day.

 

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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