Apr 022012
 
A fishing icon.
Image via Wikipedia

Sunday was Father’s Day.  The great day when we honor our fathers and try to come up with something meaningful for a gift.  My 10 year old made a plaster mold of an apple that she was very excited about.  They can’t make ashtray’s in school any more.  I did manage to curtail the sarcasm and embrace the meaning of the gift as well as toss some change in it.

I love my kids and they are a lost of fun, and a great source of frustration and cantankerosity.  If you are ever going to be a real Cantankerous Old Coot, you must have kids, they bring out that certain…something that you just can’t get organically.

So on Sunday, Fathers Day, I get to do what I want right?  Well I wanted to sleep all day but that wasn’t happening so I went to my backup, Fishing.  Always ready to go fishing.  I did need to get my little boat ready and set up so we could take it.  This is where I start to notice I am turning into my father.  I have avoided that for almost 36 years but it is now coming on me.

I was busy getting things from my shed to put in the boat and was trying to get my 7 year old to help me.  You know important things like seats, or life jackets, or gas for the motor.  it was getting hot, and I actually said to my son, “If your not going to help just get the hell out of the way!”  Wow, that is what my dad used to say to me.

After the third or fourth time I had to stop and think “Stop it!” I took a breath and tried to reset and pull away from that black hole of A-type personality that has my Dad at the center of it like some evil emperor sitting on a throne of my crushed dreams and abandoned hopes.

I really don’t want to burden my kids that way.  I would like to leave them hopes and dreams as they grow.  While that may not be very Cantankerous, it will at least keep my kids close to the family.

I finally got everything together all the while muttering under my breath very cootishly.  Eventually we hit the lake and got actually fishing.  I took my son out for the first round and he “fished”  and darn near caught something in his first 10 minutes.

Me? I was fighting the boat in the wind and the waves so my pole sat in the rod holder and bent with the speed of the boat.  Eventually I swapped my son for my daughter who didn’t want to fish until I told her I would leave her in the middle of the lake to swim back unless she fished.  She fished.

Didn’t catch anything with her either.  I still had a great time out on the water fishing with my kids.  I know they will be out on their own way too fast and these are important times.  I also wish they would be some sort of luck when it came to fishing.

My dad always caught twice as many as I did even using the same bait.  I can’t wait until I hit that point.

Then maybe I wont have to load everything back up by myself and mutter again at how much crap we need to take.

Have a good one, Coots lesson #6 is up for Friday and Ralph has a great cantankerous rant for Monday.  Look for Coots products coming soon!

-Justin

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Jun 192011
 
behold... the funky turkey baster!!

Image by limowreck666 via Flickr

It’s Father’s Day!

Did you notice? Maybe you missed all the TV ads reminding you to remember your dear old Dad with a nice wrench. Cut the crap! Everybody knows that Dads were rendered unnecessary by the feminist revolution and the discovery of new ways to use a turkey baster. When is the last time you saw a TV show or movie with a Dad that mattered? It might be 60 years in my case. Maybe you young sprouts have never seem one- ever. Dad’s today are always dumb, often venal and would be living on the street without their wives to keep them from disaster. (What this says about women today is a question we won’t even ponder.) Marriage is a cruel mockery of its former glory. No wonder the only people who want to get married today are homosexuals. Somebody should warn them about being careful what you wish for.

But back to the news.

Trying to find good news is always hard but trying to find good news about fathers is almost impossible. I was looking for inspiring stories about fathers today, men who stepped up. Men who, in spite of all the criticisms of fatherhood and the built-in limitations of the male gender, took charge and showed their little nippers how to take on the world and win. Alas, that’s not what the reporters want us to see. Today’s model Dads are metro sexual wusses sharing their tender moments in carefully staged photo shoots to reveal their softer sides.

Hollywood’s Most Sporting Dads

The wussification of Dads is old news by now, even rock stars want to fit the model.

Dads Who Rock

The true feelings of the media show up most clearly in movies. Not only are fathers unnecessary, they reflect the base and venal nature of the male sex and nothing good can be expected from that combination. Usually the media avoids stating this directly. We have been so conditioned that a mild suggestion will cause us all to break into enthusiastic agreement just like Pavlovian dogs. Salon Magazine is an exception.  They keep it right up front.  Today they provide a  top ten list of bad father movies just in time to head off any warm fuzzies you might have about dear old Dad on his day.

The 10 worst dads in movie history

There is not much to say about being a father these days. You don’t get much respect anywhere you look. Nobody remembers Ward Clever or Robert Young and even if they did, they would turn masculine responsibility and family leadership into a joke. My suggestion for modern-day fathers on Father’s Day is just not to play the game. Ignore the whole thing. Everybody else will too and tomorrow will be just another day.

 

 

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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