Feb 232015
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English: Evidence of Logging. The photograph s...

English: Evidence of Logging. The photograph shows the main track through the woods on Houghton Moor (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know I should channel my annoyances at my aging body into wonderfully articulate and cantankerous rants, but I am not sure I am ready for that.  As if I need any more of this getting old stuff.  We went camping this weekend for my 12 year olds birthday.  Man oh man, I felt old.

Let’s just say that this trip I was glad to have a mattress to sleep on in the tent trailer.

I was glad to sleep in until 9 AM on 2 of the 3 days.

I went to bed before midnight.

I couldn’t get up the hill without falling and messing up my knee.  Well, I probably would have done that anyway.

So here I sit.  I feel like an old man when I move.  I am slow to get going and tired all of the time.  My body is betraying me.

But then, in my mind, I feel like a 14 year old kid who is going to be in trouble all of the time.  There is not the place where I feel like the 38 year old man that I should be, well am in reality.

When do you actually start to feel the age you are?  Where do you feel like the adult you should feel like?

Hell I have 4 kids, the oldest just turned 12.  I shouldn’t feel like I am barely older than her.  But I do.

Maybe I am just tired and the constant stream of caffeine is eroding my psyche, maybe I need a therapist.  Maybe I need a big jug of rum.

Whatever shall I do…..I want to end up similar to Ralph, retired and cantankerous, living life how it comes, but right now, I am going to lose my mind and be running around the nursing home in a loincloth, waving my cane and flashing the old ladies.  Ahhh Dementia….you minx you.  When will you visit?

Anyway, what think you all?  I want some constructive information on what to do, or you can just go and jump off the short pier.




Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Jun 022014
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Street sign for Wal*Mart Drive, south of Gordo...

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This past weekend I took the family camping and fishing for my daughters birthday.  It was her idea by the way.  We drove down to the middle of Utah to a great lake and caught a ton of fish.

What I noticed is that on the way back there was lots of empty space…in the dark at least.  Plenty of stuff in the day.  What I really noticed is, even on the freeway, it was dark.  Cars passing on both sides of us because a minivan with a tent trailer has to be slow right?  70 mph not quite enough for you jackasses is it? Anyway, there were islands of light along side of the freeway that rose out of the darkness like the moon coming over the mountain.  Which was happening at the same time but irrelevant to the story.

The island of light was, you guessed it, a Wal-Mart surrounded by several smaller stores all seeming to be sycophants to the great and powerful Oz, er Wal-Mart.  My wife said, “We are OK now, there is a Wal-Mart.”  I chuckled and we drove on.  Another 10 minutes or so (again still at 70 mph and getting passed) another Wal-Mart rose out of the stygian night.  I said, “We must be back close to civilization, there is another Wal-Mart.”

That was the joke now as we passed two more before hitting Provo, the first big city on our way back to Salt Lake.  After that there were more Wal-Marts and we already knew where they all are in the valley.  We finally made it home and speculated that we may have to hit a couple of those Wal-Marts in the future.  (Not a joke, when we didn’t have kids (and a couple times with the kids) we drove the two hours up to Evanston, Wyoming just for fun.  We would have pizza at the Shakey’s and then go to Wal-Mart because there wasn’t much else to do.  Now it is a joke to stop at a new Wal-Mart.  And no, they are not all the same.  Why just last year we stopped at the one in Price, Ut………)

I think the “old” part of Cantankerous Old Coots is coming out, I am rambling.  I just want to know exactly when Wal-Mart became synonymous with civilization….Any thoughts as we go into the weekend?

(I just realized that Wal-Mart should be kicking back some advertising every time I mentioned Wal-Mart in this post.  If I got a nickel for every one, I would have .65 cents…enough for a candy bar at Walmart.  Oh, that makes .70 cents.)

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Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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