Down With | - Part 2

Down with – Conservation

Apr 202012

Originally posted 2010-04-05 09:15:56. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

It started with Carter

It all started with that old anal retentive bastard Jimmy Carter. If you don’t remember the smug old know-it-all in his Mr. Rogers sweater scolding us all about waste and irresponsibility, then you are younger than 50 and have probably been brainwashed from birth to believe that we live in a limited world and that conservation is our only hope. We sent the old nag packing in 1981 freeing him up to build houses for losers but the cancer he started has metastasized into every aspect of today’s society.

It is all your fault.

Brush your teeth with the water running and you are an inconsiderate sob. Want to drive a car that is actually fun to drive? If you do then you are a gas hog. Would you like to be comfortably warm in the winter and cool in the summer? If you do then you are killing the planet. Like your green lawn? You are the cause of the salmon shortage and the imminent extinction of the Delta smelt, you selfish dolt.

I’m fed up

At every turn we are scolded about our waste and selfishness. Well, I’m fed up with conservation and like Howard Beal, I’m not going to take it any more. It is un-American. It is antithetical to our country’s history and destiny. The US was founded on unbridled optimism. The sky is the limit. Nothing is impossible. Today that is all changed. We are afraid of our shadows. We believe that the world is limited. There is not enough of everything we need whether it is energy, water, oil, air or food. It is so bad that unless we all channel Mother Teresa’s selflessness our world is doomed. Well I’m not buying it. I am channeling Howard Beal. I am fed up with lectures from self-righteous scolds who never created anything in their lives. There are no limits except the ones we set on ourselves. We can do and have what we want just like we always have. Unbridled American ingenuity will save the day just like it has in the past.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Railing at Mother Nature…What a Bitch.

Coot Law, Down with, rants 1 Response »

Apr 202012

You can't miss Utah

The weather in Utah is legendary for changing at a moments notice. Ok maybe not legendary, but at least known to the public here. Give it a minute the weather will change is a mantra we live by in the spring.

So When this post was written we had just finished a day of heavy rains. The weather forecast said it was going to be partly cloudy and warmer. I washed a load of towels to hang outside on the line. Just getting ready to hang them out, and it starts raining. I am sure mother nature was just thwarting me.

I had a few choice things to say to Nature at that point. I kind of wanted to be Captain Dan in Forrest Gump screaming at the storm. But, I had kids at home.

There will be another snowstorm, that is almost guaranteed. Except it will be 80 this weekend and I have to get the lawn mower out before the jungle sets in. My Great Grandpa, who had a garden that should have been on a magazine, always said, “Don’t plant anything until after Mother’s Day.” That is sage advice here, because you will just get your tomatoes growing and it will freeze. It just does here.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Coots Smirk: How about them Yankees?

Coot Smirk, Down with 6 Responses »

Apr 082012

Originally posted 2010-10-25 07:20:54. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

: Image via Wikipedia

Down with the Yankees!

Nothing makes this Coot happier than to see the Yankees lose. Let’s give a big cheer for the Rangers who sent then home for the season last week. Gotta love those underdogs from the hinterlands. The Yankees represent everything that is wrong with America today – money, priviledge and arrogance.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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Down with Protesters

Down with, principles, rants 1 Response »

Apr 012012

Originally posted 2010-06-16 08:01:22. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

I don’t know if this is a phenomenon local to Salt Lake City or not. It seems that businesses all over the valley have been targeted for years by a group of protesters.

These protesters always have a large printed sign on a PVC pipe frame that declares in large red letters, “SHAME ON….” the business name, and “Labor Dispute” on the bottom. I have never been able to see a pattern to it or a reason for it.

These signs are attended by usually 3 or 4 people of various races, genders and persuasions. Again, no real pattern to it.

Now I am all for Free Speech and the freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution of these United States, but come on, When you start protesting the hospital that saved my baby girls life with 2 years of dialysis and then a transplant, you piss me off no matter what minimum wage, questionable legal right to work in the US, labor dispute your tiny mind dreams up on bottom shelf liquor and who knows what other substances.

I don’t know what their issues are, I can’t find out anything about them on the net. And forget asking the protesters themselves, they just look at you an shrug like they don’t understand English.

You know I did see one of these signs outside of Disneyland last year. I guess it is not local to SLC. That was the guy I asked what they were protesting. “Labor Dispute” was all he would say.

Justin

Justin is the young Coot with a Cantankerous Soul who continues to be educated by older, more cootish Ralph and Bob. His Cantankerosity is his own.

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Down with Supercilious Brits

Down with 3 Responses »

Mar 112012

Originally posted 2011-07-27 05:43:18. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Bob’s a Bad Influence

OK, if Bob’s going to slack off and then 24 hours late whine about how Yankees are destroying the South, there is no reason why I can’t do a little whining as well- even if it is out of character for me. I already gave a shout out because, at long last, we are experiencing the last of the silly Harry Potter movies. I suppose it is a relief to see anything positive about the UK these days so maybe I shouldn’t be so negative but I can only take so much. We are long past Britain as the ruler of the waves and the sun never setting on the Empire. They have come down quite a bit in the respect area over the past century. The best they can do these days is sending the Royals in funny hats out to titillate the peasants in Los Angeles or Ottawa or push Amy Winehouse on us. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me. Harry Potter was a vehicle to present a positive image for Britain with attractive, un-pierced, un-tattooed and un-sexed young people who speak intelligible -if pommy- English.

I’m not planning to see this last gasp of British civilization but I still like to know enough about the dumb movie to have a few good comebacks when the topic comes up, I found this Cliff Notes version of the plot. It works for me and you might enjoy it as well.

Harry Potter- the laugh riot

Funny as the Harry Potter movies might be, I doubt if the Brits can even guess the depths of potential humor. I can’t wait until Mystery Science Theater 3000 gets hold of the series. It will be a hoot. Meanwhile, not only to we have to put up with the Royals and their damned hats, we get silly British college twits who think that life in America is funny. I’m going on the record here to say that I shop at Walmart and there is nothing funny about it.

Walmart, the movie

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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