Down with – Conservation

 Posted by at 11:03  Down with
Feb 232015
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It started with Carter

It all started with that old anal retentive bastard Jimmy Carter. If you don’t remember the smug old know-it-all in his Mr. Rogers sweater scolding us all about waste and irresponsibility, then you are younger than 50 and have probably been brainwashed from birth to believe that we live in a limited world and that conservation is our only hope. We sent the old nag packing in 1981 freeing him up to build houses for losers but the cancer he started has metastasized into every aspect of today’s society.

It is all your fault.

Brush your teeth with the water running and you are an inconsiderate sob. Want to drive a car that is actually fun to drive? If you do then you are a gas hog. Would you like to be comfortably warm in the winter and cool in the summer? If you do then you are killing the planet. Like your green lawn? You are the cause of the salmon shortage and the imminent extinction of the Delta smelt, you selfish dolt.

I’m fed up

At every turn we are scolded about our waste and selfishness. Well, I’m fed up with conservation and like Howard Beal, I’m not going to take it any more. It is un-American. It is antithetical to our country’s history and destiny. The US was founded on unbridled optimism. The sky is the limit. Nothing is impossible. Today that is all changed. We are afraid of our shadows. We believe that the world is limited. There is not enough of everything we need whether it is energy, water, oil, air or food. It is so bad that unless we all channel Mother Teresa’s selflessness our world is doomed. Well I’m not buying it. I am channeling Howard Beal. I am fed up with lectures from self-righteous scolds who never created anything in their lives. There are no limits except the ones we set on ourselves. We can do and have what we want just like we always have. Unbridled American ingenuity will save the day just like it has in the past.

The sky is the only limit

Don’t buy the ‘sky is falling’ whining. Think there is a shortage of water? Bull crap! Two thirds of the earth is covered with the stuff and it’s miles deep. Think we are running out of oil? Bull crap again! We haven’t come close to exhausting the known reserves which continue to grow. We just won’t drill for it. Are we running out of electricity? Build some more power plants. The only limited resources that challenge us are the stunted brains of our worthless politicians. That is what we have elections for.

Go for it.  We’ll make more.

Want a fast car? A thirsty lawn? A cool house? Some more Doritos? Go for it. This is America and just like Jay says. “We can make more.”


Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  6 Responses to “Down with – Conservation”

  1. Wow and I thought I was contankerous…….. Nailed it Ralph
    .-= lees shizzle´s last blog ..How Social Media Drop Kicked My Blog Like Chuck Norris…..Is He Social? =-.

  2. We do have a reputation to establish here. No softballs. Thanks Lee.
    .-= Ralph´s last blog ..On Comments and Gordon Ramsey =-.

  3. Excellent and well written. Thank you for this.

  4. Nice blog, good work.

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