Jul 072014
 
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It’s embarrassing.

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Here we are winding up a year that set records for making sow’s ears out of silk purses. The world is going to hell in a hand basket (yes I know this is a trite cliché but sometimes only a trite cliché can convey your meaning). What I’m trying to say here is that the only thing good about 2011 is that we are almost done with it.

I say good riddance.

But what I’m embarrassed about today is that I’ve lost the will to rant. Search as I might in my inner being, it’s just not there. It may be just the joy and happiness of the season washing away all that bitter acid. Possibly it’s that I’m just overwhelmed by peace and joy not to mention too much to eat. I’m at a loss to explain it. You see, I’ve never had this problem before. Ranting has been second nature, easy as falling off a log.

This year, it’s different.

I’m a weepy wuss. Getting that cloying Christmas update from Cousin Zach never overwhelmed me before. This year I actually thought his new grandson was cute and reading about his road trip to Cedar Rapids made me envious. Then there is the food. That extra piece of pie never overwhelmed my natural distrust of human nature. This year stuffing my face completely unnecessary high calorie treats isn’t just making me fat. Each piece of pie or glass of eggnog is turning me into more of a pussy cat.

It can’t be old age.

Heck I’ve been old for years. There is no way to deny it. Sometimes I can fool myself into forgetting it, if I stay away from mirrors and the arthritis goes quiet. It’s just not something you can hide. If old age were the reason, this would have happened years ago.

So on this final week of what has to be one of the worst years yet, I am full of the milk of human kindness and unable to think a negative thought about anybody. It’s a sorry state of affairs. Whatever the cause, I have hopes that 2012 will restore my life to its former state.

So that’s my resolve for 2012.

I aim to restore my natural distrust in the judgment of others and my honest and completely justified lack of faith in human nature. I think if I can just finish off the last of the holiday food and get the decorations put away, there is hope that I can begin the year in a suitably cantankerous frame of mind.

Meanwhile, while the Christmas spirit and food buzz still clouds my mind, I can’t help myself from wishing you all a happy and prosperous New Year.

 

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  4 Responses to “Where has my cantankerosity gone?”

  1. Happy New Year Coots.

  2. Back at you, Hansi.

  3. What the hell is a hand basket anyway? Not sure I’ve ever seen one of these. Certainly not in any of the obvious places, like the checkout line at KMart.

  4. Dave,
    I have to say that I don’t know what a hand basket is either. I always picture one of those woven picnic baskets but I can’t tell you why. Which begs the question why if you are going to hell you would do it in a hand basket anyway. You do seem to have the right association with a K-Mart checkout line- about the most hellish place I can think of. I’ll bet K-Mart wasn’t even a gleam in somebody’s eye when the phrase was invented though. Even wikipedia isn’t much help.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_hell_in_a_handbasket

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