Aug 142011
 
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Are you fed up with Iowa? 

This week it has been hard to find news that doesn’t somehow involve Iowa. Why anyone cares about Iowa or more specifically what Iowans think about anything is beyond me. I confess to never setting foot in Iowa despite growing up in a neighborhing state. There is absolutely no reason to go there. Anything that Iowa has that you might need can be shipped. One good measure of how boring it must be to live in Iowa is that they welcome politicians so they can try our their ‘not ready for prime time’ acts there. It’s bad enough to deal with politicians every two or four years but in Iowa it is perpetual. I don’t know the sad story about how Iowa got to have such unjustified influence on the country but the Coots want to start a groundswell to get it stopped. Ask yourself if there is anything important that ever came our of Iowa and why we shouldn’t give this upstart state its come uppance by kicking it out of the Union. Let’s build on the backlash around the country about having our politicians vetted by corn-fed yokels. Let’s eliminate Iowa so we can get our country back. Maybe it is already starting.

Iowa’s place at center of political world under threat

Ok, so much for politics. Let’s get back to the fun ‘Cool’ stuff like fast boats. Let’s face it, boats have gotten dull. They all look so, well, boat-like. There is just no surprise when you see a boat, even a fast one, until now. There is a new fast boat in town that looks like it might have been created by Batman. If you’ve gotten bored with boats these days then check this one out.

THIS IS THE LUXURY BOATING INDUSTRY’S NEW SUPERHERO-ESQUE SPEED RACER

There is great news for the dating scene this week too. These days sometimes that innocent drink gets spiked with a little something that lowers a girls resistance. What is a girl to do? If she only knew that her date was a scuzz she could avoid a bad experience. Well now she has a solution. There is a new device that can check drinks for the presence of date rape drugs.

SEE HOW A COOL NEW SENSOR CAN DETECT ANY DATE RAPE DRUG IN YOUR DRINK

We’ve got some lifestyle good news as well this week. You know that boring backyard swimming pool that you never use? Kill the damn thing and replace it with something you can really use. Even in LA where a backyard pool is practically required, this couple pioneers a whole new backyard lifestyle.

Granada Hills couple replaces unused backyard pool with dynamic outdoor living space

And another example for that kid of yours that keeps crying because he wants you to send to Berkeley. Since all he will learn there is how to picket military recruiters, cut our the middleman. Send him to Europe to live on the streets so he can become a billionaire.

Life Lessons From a Fire-Breathing, Stilt-Walking Billionaire

And finally, great news for the shoe business. Now you don’t just buy shoes for walking,. Now you can run your air conditioner and hike at the same time. It’s awesome.  Think it would work with gum?

ELECTRIC SHOES..A GAME CHANGER FOR THE HUGE FOOTWEAR INDUSTRY

So that’s the good news for this week. All in all.,I’m pretty pleased. You don’t even have to think about the stock market or politics.  Take a hike and save the planet.

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  2 Responses to “Coots News Service-What Good is Iowa Anyway?”

  1. I’ve had my fill of Iowa and their Straw Poll. And when you think the poll all the candidates are glamoring to appear the most extreme right winger possible, is happening at some dumb county fair; well It’s just unbelievable (hope Sarah wins).
    Love the story about the Granada hills couple. that’s goin’ green!

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