Jun 192011
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behold... the funky turkey baster!!

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It’s Father’s Day!

Did you notice? Maybe you missed all the TV ads reminding you to remember your dear old Dad with a nice wrench. Cut the crap! Everybody knows that Dads were rendered unnecessary by the feminist revolution and the discovery of new ways to use a turkey baster. When is the last time you saw a TV show or movie with a Dad that mattered? It might be 60 years in my case. Maybe you young sprouts have never seem one- ever. Dad’s today are always dumb, often venal and would be living on the street without their wives to keep them from disaster. (What this says about women today is a question we won’t even ponder.) Marriage is a cruel mockery of its former glory. No wonder the only people who want to get married today are homosexuals. Somebody should warn them about being careful what you wish for.

But back to the news.

Trying to find good news is always hard but trying to find good news about fathers is almost impossible. I was looking for inspiring stories about fathers today, men who stepped up. Men who, in spite of all the criticisms of fatherhood and the built-in limitations of the male gender, took charge and showed their little nippers how to take on the world and win. Alas, that’s not what the reporters want us to see. Today’s model Dads are metro sexual wusses sharing their tender moments in carefully staged photo shoots to reveal their softer sides.

Hollywood’s Most Sporting Dads

The wussification of Dads is old news by now, even rock stars want to fit the model.

Dads Who Rock

The true feelings of the media show up most clearly in movies. Not only are fathers unnecessary, they reflect the base and venal nature of the male sex and nothing good can be expected from that combination. Usually the media avoids stating this directly. We have been so conditioned that a mild suggestion will cause us all to break into enthusiastic agreement just like Pavlovian dogs. Salon Magazine is an exception.  They keep it right up front.  Today they provide a  top ten list of bad father movies just in time to head off any warm fuzzies you might have about dear old Dad on his day.

The 10 worst dads in movie history

There is not much to say about being a father these days. You don’t get much respect anywhere you look. Nobody remembers Ward Clever or Robert Young and even if they did, they would turn masculine responsibility and family leadership into a joke. My suggestion for modern-day fathers on Father’s Day is just not to play the game. Ignore the whole thing. Everybody else will too and tomorrow will be just another day.



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Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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