No News is Good News

 Posted by at 12:08  Headline News
Sep 082011
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Have I Got News for You

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The world is going to hell in a handbasket- whatever that means.  For this week, I’m putting a good face on a bad situation. Since all I can find this week is bad news, I’m skipping the news summary. Lately it’s getting harder and harder to find any good news out there. It’s enough to make me pessimistic.  It also makes me wonder what’s going on? There are earthquakes here and tornadoes there. The economy is not budging. It’s been down for years and it seems to be going down further.  Spreading that gloom and doom can only make things worse.

It’s time for Plan B.

I’ve been scouring the news sources further and further from the mainstream hoping fto find something good but it’s just no use. The only thing cheerful going on is that Royal Wedding in England but happy as those royals seem to be and crazy as the clothes they put on to celebrate are, I just can’t go there. In America, King George was the last monarch we paid attention to and he blew it. This American can’t even manage a snicker at the Royal goings on.  It’s like seeing your parents go senile.

There is no future in news.

Right now , I’m wondering what’s the point? Bad news is bad news. There isn’t any way to avoid it and I’m feeling that the last thing anyone needs is somebody reminding them how bad off they are. So today I’m proposing an alternative. Either we drop this news summary altogether or we shift gears. I’m open to suggestions. Maybe readers know some good news and are willing to pass it along. I’m not sure what makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is pandering to the forces dragging our spirits down whether they occupy the seat of government or the TV studios. If they can’t find us some good news than I guess we will just have to make some up.

This week’s good news is that there is no bad news.

One way of another, the Cantankerous Old Coots through with bad news. This week, the good news is that the Coot’s News Service will not be passing along any bad news. If you need it, you know where to find it. The Good News is that from now on here at CNS there is no bad news.  Next week, who knows.  We’re making this up as we go.


Now put on your thinking caps and pass along your suggestions for finding good news for next week. If you don’t help, I may be forced to make some up.


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Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  7 Responses to “No News is Good News”

  1. Here’s one. Trout Season is officially open in the Eastern Sierras. From Lone Pine up to Mammoth. And the gooder news is, with gas prices over $4.00 a gallon, it’ll keep the riff-raf away and there’ll be more Rainbows for me (trout that is).

  2. Funny thing, the majority of us lot over here ignore the wedding stuff too. The hype was horrible!

    Making up news would be fun though. You could have a political (or otherwise) satire section in which you say the exact opposite of what’s going on, or push it to extremes.

  3. Hansi,
    Good news for you. Bad news for the Rainbows.

  4. Heather,
    I’m devastated. CNN tells us that everybody in the UK was standing outside the Abbey drooling over the dress. You just can’t trust anybody. Seriously, it’s my opinion that 95% of the news we hear is made up anyway. Let’s just make up the news we want to hear.

  5. Some did, most didn’t. I’m assuming it was bigger in England (its their monarchy after all). Actually the BBC was accused of being biased in favour of the Royals in their coverage, fun stuff.

  6. Somebody got married? Somebody I know?

  7. Dave,
    Quite likely. You should get out more.

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