Stop with the news from Japan!
It’s a crazy week. More Japan news than you can shake a stick at crowding the media still after more than a week. You won’t find any of that stuff here.
Whatever! There is still important news that needs highlighting and the Coots News Service will dig it out for you.
The President takes a break from all the pressures of office, heading for Brazil with his family. He is enjoying the hot Brazilian beats and tropical beauty, perhaps even checking out the Girl from Ipamema. He is rumored to be disappointed at missing Carnivale. He was heard expressing dismay that despite telling officials about his planned trip, they did not delay Carnivale for his arrival. Some people don’t learn. Brazilians are apparently unaware that the President takes his time making decisions and expects the world to stop while he decides. I guess they will get it someday.
No matter, the poor Pres just can’t get a break. Rudderless European countries long used to leadership from the United States just can’t seem to get their shit together and move out of the spare bedroom. Obama has been trying tough love but European leaders are still confused whether to do their homework or sneak out and party.
Party on, Dudes.
Meanwhile, world leadership emerges from the oddest places. Take Sarah Palin. She’s been a controversial figure in the US for several years now but her influence is going international. The Arab League is taking her lead as they desperately struggle to earn world respect. Hint, It takes more than terrorism and economic stagnation to get world approval.
Back at home, we can’t seem to get a break on the economy, despite the President’s lazer-like focus on job growth down at Copacabana Beach, unemployment is high and getting higher.
It’s not just unemployment that is up. The cost of living has reached record levels too. I guess if everything goes up together, we won’t notice.
The UK has it’s problems as well. The legendary red squirrel is in decline, backed into a corner by the larger and more aggressive illegal aliens- the grays. These illegals had better watch out because the red squirrels have a real champion to defend them from the foreigner. It is none other than the formidable Prince Charles. Watch out, he doesn’t sick Camilla on them.
It seems we have to go into outer space this week for some good news. Going to the Moon may be too much but we actual managed to send a spacecraft to Mercury in order to get better information about the smallest planet in the solar system (apologies to the recently demoted Pluto who formerly held that title). Kudos to the engineers who created this craft to withstand extreme temperature variations so that we can learn more about our winged companion.
Back at home, there is one sign of good news. In New Jersey, the governor has finally figured out how to get some value out of the broken, overpriced and failing education system. He is selling advertising. What’s nice is that they don’t have to worry about adult content because none of the kids riding the bus can read anyway. Everybody wins.
Well, I tried to find some good news this week. If I were you, I’d skip this whole report. Nothing here you can’t live without.