Feb 202011
 
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Presidents

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Happy Three Day Weekend!

It’s a big three day weekend for some folks courtesy of two of our Presidents. Don’t ask me which ones because we lumped them all together in one day to save money and create a three day weekend so long ago that I can’t remember. Trust me it was two of the big names, not Harding or Hoover. I think maybe one of them was Reagan but the old mind doesn’t connect all the dots like it used to. It really doesn’t matter because all our Presidents are great so long as you exclude the incumbent.

Speaking about the incumbent. The man is tireless in his pursuit of jobs. It turns out , our Prez has been wining and dining with billionaires to boost the economy. It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it.

Obama Teams With Zuckerberg And Tech Folks To Create Millions Of Jobs!

Millions of Jobs! With lazerlike focus our current President sucks up to big money CEO’s in California last week. He says he want to invest in new technology but he never says whose money he plans to invest. His? The CEO’s? Mine? We got such a great return from Government Motors, didn’t we?

While we are on the subject of government, now the question seems to be will we have one of not. The Republicans are dead set on continuing the darn thing even if they want to cut its allowance and ground it for the weekend. Democrats say give it tough love. They say shut it down. Which one gets your vote?

House Republicans win spending cuts after marathon funding debate

Government shutdown is likely, Pelosi aide says

Coots aren’t sure what Adams and Coolidge would say about the budget tug of war in our nations capitol this week. Republicans voted to cut spending to honor their campaign pledges last fall while Democrats say that these cuts are draconian and they will shut down the government before going along. I’m with the Democrats this time. Shut the whole damn thing down. The Republicans are wimpos as usual.

All of this cost cutting is having impacts on local officials as well. Even school teachers are behaving irrationally by abandoning their posts and leaving their pupils unsupervised. It is enough to cause anguish for the Madison Wisconsin Schools because they don’t get paid unless the inmates are locked down daily.

UPDATE: Madison Schools Go To Court To Get Teachers Back

Those school teachers should take a lesson from Tom Kinton.  That man is a model to emulate and he gets no respect.

Thinking ill of Mr. Sick Bank

This Coot confesses to being a retired government employee but somehow I never managed to work this system like Tom Kinton who just sold his 35 years of sick time worth over $400,000. People may criticize him but instead they should be honoring him. People think working for the government is all peaches and cream. You should try walking a mile in those shoes.  It isn’t easy to face the insanity of a government job every day for 35 years but somebody has to do it. Tom Kinton is the man!

But what about celebrities?  Coots understand that everybody wants celebrity news and we won’t disappoint you today. How about some Bieber?  Justin Bieber seems to have survived his attack but now faces an even more perilous fate. It seems that putting Justin on the cover of your magazine can hurt sales.  Will this kill his career?

Justin Bieber Hurting Magazine Sales

Coots’s theory is that Justin’s fans can’t read and so see no need to buy magazines though as Bob suggests, the folks that don’t like Justin can’t read either. It’s an unknown, probably similar to the unkowns that face pop idol Vince Neil.

On the eve of his 15-day jail sentence, Motley Crue front man Vince Neil spent his last night of freedom on a Valentine’s Day date and admitting he’s worried about “the unknowns.”

‘UNKNOWNS’ WORRY VINCE NEIL AS HE HEADS FOR JAIL

Somehow this Coot missed Motley Crue when they were big and never heard of Vince Neil until today but my heart has to go out to him as he faces a stint in the Las Vegas Slammer for DUI. Vince likes to give back, he says and intends to keep on giving as long as they will let me. I’m inspired. How about you?

And speaking of inspiration, Coots had to go back to Pravda for today’s inspiring story. It seems that a tiger got the beat on a hapless hunter somewhere in Asia but happily the man had a loving spouse who came to his rescue.  It seems she beat off the tiger with a wooden ladle. Makes me wonder how far my wife would go.  Hope I never find out.

Woman chases tiger attacking her husband away with wooden ladle

Finally, this is news that you have always wondered but never knew who to ask. Should you get that face lift or just let everything sag?  Well today, Coots has the answer for you.

To Lift Or Not to Lift?

So much for the President’s Day edition of Coot’s News Service. Enjoy that three day holiday only if you are retired, take yours starting Tuesday after everybody gets back from the slopes. Don’t forget to leave a comment if you want to join Hansi in the COCU Hall of Fame.

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  6 Responses to “Coot’s News Service- President’s Day Edition”

  1. Ralph…why are you running folks off like that? Threatening them with having to join Hansi…sheesh, folks will be staying away in droves…

  2. Bob,
    In case you hadn’t noticed, they are already staying away in droves.

  3. Hey you guys. Am I in the Hall of Fame all alone? Probably am, cause before he threw his tantrum at the Grammies for not winning, I never heard of Justin Bieber.

  4. Hansi,
    So far you are the only member of our Hall of Fame and recipient of course credit for the News Irrelevancy Extension course. Any week now our crack COCU staff will get you your certificate. You are definitely a trail blazer, suckup and and inspiration to our other reader to get off his butt.

  5. You have two whole readers?

    My God!

    Wonders never cease…

  6. Dave,
    Whole may be charitable.

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