Sep 082011
 
The "NEWS FLASH" title card.
Image via Wikipedia

Welc0ome to the last news bulletin for 2010.  Coots can’t wait till this one is over.  We all need a fresh start.

3 arrested over London theft of $1.9M Stradivarius

Snacking while transporting a borrowed Stradivarius violin turns to disaster for a Korean musician in London. While getting something to eat, three thugs snag the $1.9 million violin. Although police have the thugs, nobody seems to know what happened to the violin. Coot’s hope that the sandwich was worth it.

Romanian jumps from Parliament balcony to protest budget cuts

Coots were unmoved by protesting Greeks, French and British citizens when their governments cut programs recently. Those protests were mere gestures, carrying signs and chanting slogans. Just what you would expect lazy, overfed civil servants and welfare recipients to do, complain noisily and get in the way. You have to respect this Romanian, however. This guy really knows how to make an impact. No wimpy signs and chants. When Romanians protest austerity measures, they take it seriously. This man threw himself off a twenty foot balcony. Even so, the government didn’t relent.  Apparently the Chinese aren’t willing to buy Romania until they finish with the US.

Rahm Emanuel ruled a Chicago resident, stays on mayoral ballot

Chicago is a remarkable city. Not only does it have an enviable climate but the forces of nature seem to work differently in the former second city. Normally, you might expect that a law that says you must be a resident for two years would mean that you needed to live in Chicago for two years. But, of course you would be wrong. What it means in Chicago is that you wanted to live in Chicago for two years while you actually lived elsewhere. Heck, this Coot could qualify. No, wait a minute, I really don’t miss those minus 10 degree winds off the lake.

Arizona man returns Michigan library book 76 years overdue

Better late than never seems to work with the Mount Clemons Michigan Library. They were so happy to get A Dog of Flanders back after 76 years that they forgave the fines. The 89 year old retiree now living in Arizona was contrite saying,

“I was entranced by the book and kept it with my prized possessions, intending to return it forthwith,” McKee wrote in an accompanying letter. “Thus began a 76-year odyssey of missed opportunity and intention.”

Coots are unimpressed. This is just another case of pandering to criminals. We suspect that one book is just the tip of the iceberg. He has probably got the entire set of Lassie books that are over due as well.

Anarchists say they bombed Swiss, Chilean embassies

Italian anarchists have been busy using the government apparatus of Italy to deliver bombs to the Swiss and Chilean embassies. Anarchists always bewilder this Coot. Although they exist within the frameworks of whatever country they infest, they claim to want to eliminate government and order. Since there is precious little organization and order in the Italian government, it is hard to see what improvement they think is possible. Perhaps, however they merely want to export Italy’s own anarchy to the more orderly states of Switzerland and Chile. Coots suspect the truth is more that anarchists don’t know what they are doing.

Northeast braces for monster storm

Blizzard may pump 18 inches on the Jersey Shore before moving on to the rest of the northeast. Snookie was unavailable for comment.  Airlines have canceled flights Sunday but expect the return to their schedules on Monday. Coots are still wondering about global warming. It doesn’t seem to be working out as predicted. I guess I need to take a road trip in the Hummer.

Well that’s about it for this week.  Coot’s hope that the Holiday week will provide something more upbeat and positive for  the first summary of the new year.

Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  2 Responses to “Coots Week in Review – December 26,2010”

  1. Global warming my ass. I’d be shoveling global warming off my porch if there were snow shovels in Georgia.

    More on global warming in tomorrow’s post.

  2. Bob, Do yurts have porches?

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