Feb 232015
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Folks who know me know that I am a very retro type guy.  My tastes run retro in music, in politics, in lifestyle…in almost every aspect of my life.

I love to cook…and don’t own…or want…a microwave oven, even to boil water or melt butter for a recipe or to reheat leftovers.

I love to fish, but I’d rather do it with a cane pole or cheap spinning rod/reel combo from a creekbank or the banks of a farm pond than with a lot of high tech fishing equipment from a 60 MPH bass boat.  Folks sometimes think I’m so retro that the term “luddite” is a fitting description for me, but I’d like to dispel that notion and tell y’all that I’m retro because I’m so dumb.

Yep…I’m dumb, and my retroness comes from that.

My overall retroness is an outward display of a desire for “the way things were” socially and an acknowledgement that I’m not smart enough to re-invent the wheel, instead looking to the past to find what has worked before and a desire to “fix things” by a return to those times.

A few examples would be:

Today’s youth’s disrespect for rules and authority.

When I was a kid if I screwed up 2 blocks down the street from my house while out playing, the neighbor (stay at home) mom gave me a swat on the ass and sent me home, where my mom’s reaction was to send me to my room until my father got home when my butt got rally blistered.  Now, the neighbor mom isn’t home, and if she were and even looked crosseyed at Little Johnny his parents lawyer up.

The other side…authority…has done it’s share to cause it’s own downfall too.  When I was a kid my parents taught me to “look for the cop on the corner when you have a problem.  He is your friend.”

No more.  Law enforcement has become, in large part, jackbooted Gestapo-like thugs.  If two kids hav a schoolyard fight, rather than being sent home with a note for the parents the kids leave school handcuffd in the back of a police car.  Hey…authorities…listen up!  Every rule infraction doesn’t require criminal charges!

In the 50’s and 60’s the family unit included a father and a mother.

Single family households were rare.  Also in the 50’s and 60’s dropout rates were much lower, drug useage was not as bad, teen pregnancy was an anomaly rather than something normal…

…can you imagine an out-of-wedlock birth in the 50’s being cause for celebration, complete with baby shower and proud grandparents?

So…I’m retro…because I’m too dumb to come up with new ideas to fix societies ills…but I see solutions in the past.  I’m a big believer in “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”.  I’d kinda like to return to societal mores that weren’t broke.

Bob@HayleStorm Interactive

Bob comes to us with a skeptical attitude and a full cup of Cantankerousness. He also writes about homesteading and yurts over at JuicyMaters.com and rants about politics at Common-Sense-Conversation.com Most of the time, though, you'll find him at HayleStorm.net, cranking out great websites for clients OR writing tutorials teaching them to build their own sites.

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  10 Responses to “Retro vindication”

  1. I call balance.

    Mostly because I can see a lot of good in society now compared to before… I’m young and female; do you think I would have been taken seriously?

    There are a lot of issues too and I’d never deny that. Ever. But I like my internet and being listened to and being able to tell people to go suck it based on their intelligence instead of how old they were in relation to me and which gender/position of authority they had.

    Could be all about knowledge and perspective of course. Seems a lot of people lack it these days and it turns them into whiny little- anyway. The problems were around in the past too, just rarer because the options weren’t as well known.

    At least that’s what I’m assuming; only 20 after all what could I know 😉

  2. Ok Bob, I have to comment almost line by line. I too like to see things the “old” way and I think there are so many things that are better in the past. First of these on my mind is food preservatives and manufacturing of foodstuffs but that is another post.
    Now, microwaves. I am not a huge fan. The only things I use mine for are softening the proverbial butter, defrosting meat and boiling water to heat the baby’s bottle. The last is the most important. My kids barely know you can cook things like hot dogs in the microwave, and that is becasue Grandma does it. I like to boil or break out the frying pan. They also wonder why I use the cast iron pan most…that is yet another post.
    Next, Fishing. I love fishing. I would fish every day if I could. and my old favorite rod is a cheap zebco combo that I got on clearance at Walmart. Now I have a nicer set that I won online but it doesn’t catch me any more fish. I do have a small boat but it wont win any beauty or speed contests with a little 3 horse motor on the back. And that is just fine with me.
    It is way too prevalent today for people to not be satisfied with things. If it works, leave it alone! One of the best things that ever happened to me was when we were moving and all of my tackle boxes got stolen. I was able to replace them with only things that were useful to me (ie a bunch of gold spoons).
    Authority: I grew up a bit later than you, the lady down the street wouldn’t smack you but she would march you home and tell your mom, and then you wait for Dad to get home. Yes that happened more than once.
    Now I have my own kids and I hope people take them to task if they are screwing up down the road. Yet I have to be careful in Walmart because if I discipline my kids too harshly they will video it on the cellphone and call the cops. Who will then come and investigate why I am a bad parent for trying to make my kids decent citizens who don’t feel like the world owes them, well, the world.
    Most times I wish the world were more like it was in the 40’s and 50’s. People respected each other more and they let things go. If someone insulted you it didn’t become a lawyer offense, you punched each other and then went for a beer. (more or less). I have been guilty on too many occasions wishing we llived more like my grandparents did post WWII.
    Of course if I had my druthers I would head back to about 1800 and go live in the mountains.

  3. You youngsters! Technology is your friend. Microwaves do have their place. I wouldn’t make a white sauce any other way. They are perfect for heating water for tea or Starbucks Via and if you don’t have a fire going on the grill, they do a perfect job with corn on the cob.
    Moving right along, imagine getting your blog post typed on the Remington typewritter and then sending it out on the teletype.
    I grew up on a farm so I don’t know what to tell you about neighbors but my mom was enough of an enforcer for me.
    As for the cops, my kids got to be on first name basis with the cops in high school. It was a small city so the cops were solicitous about kids of voters. I suspect that our neighbors were happy when we moved out because we felt that letting our kids have their beer parties in our driveway was better then not knowing where they were drinking.
    I will agree with Bob on illegitimate children. We need to bring shame back.

    • I couldn’t deal without my computer or my mp3 player….one of my faults. But I can at leasst look up information on how to do things the old way on Google. and I have an old Underwood portable typewriter that I use to type some stories before I transcribe into the computer. You can get a great feel for a 1930’s era detective using that thing, not to mention finger strength.

  4. Ralph…you are just too damn Californee.

    We’ll start with Starbucks. Why would you want to bother to heat…with a microwave or anything else…coffe that is basically ground cow dung? Starbucks is crap coffee with a very, VERY good marketing campaign…not to mention a good supply of gullable Yuppies…and yer too old to be a Yuppie.

    So, what’s yer excuse?

    Next, on the tech thingy, as I said in the post, I’m retro but not a Luddite. I use technology…though it does irritate me to se it…or anything…abused. Is there anything stupider than 2 people in the same room, with nothing holding them in the same spot or a need for quiet, texting? Each other? From a distance of 25 feet?


    Justin…I think you’ll get your wish (it’s mine too). Within the year the great depression is going to look like a cakewalk and within 2 years it’ll be 1850 all over again. Coming back will be quicker than the first time because we have such a knowledge base to work from, but we will have 1850 as a starting point.

  5. Another technology irritant…writing a kick ass post and finding no one can read it…or anything else…because my host is having server issues and trying to go to my homepage or my yurt section gets a 500 Internal server error.

    Network Solutions says they’ll get things working again…in 24-48 hours. Whooppee Shit.

  6. Bob,
    The only thing I buy at Starbucks is Via – the instant coffee. It is actually fairly good and saves me from having a coffee maker. Simplicity – it’s a wonderful thing.

    Technology! Smectology! Even worse than someone not reading your post because of server errors is someone not reading your post period. I figure that the same number of people will read my post whether the server is up or whether it is down.

  7. Ahhh…but that problem has a solution…server issues are out of my hands unless I want to go through the aggravation of changing hosting companies.

  8. Bob,
    You are such an incurable optimist!

  9. About the crappy Starbucks coffee, the server problems, or what I think is coming for the country?

    If it’s my fortunetelling for the country, I’m very optimistic…long term. It’s just the next 3-5 years that are gonna suck…BIG TIME.

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