Up With – Hood Ornaments

 Posted by at 11:03  Up With
Feb 232015
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“Hood ornaments. They were just lovely, and they gave a sense of respect. And they took ’em away because if you can save one human life- that’s always the argument- it’s worth it, if you can save one human life. Actually, I’d be willing to trade maybe a dozen human lives for a nice hood ornament. I imagine those things really did tend to stick in bicyclists.” Michael O’Donoghue

It is comforting to be a Cantankerous OLD Coot because when you look around at the trivial cultural wasteland of modern day America, you, at least, have the memories of better times. Sick of ugly, look-alike cars? Remember hood ornaments! Back when you used to be able to tell one car from another and all cars weren’t ugly, hood ornaments were totally useless sculptures found on the hood of every car no matter the price or cache. These were not trivial junk but carefully crafted works of art designed to reflect the unique image for the car make itself and quite often the specific model. The hood ornament was just one more way to make a car distinctive. Today most of us will remember the Flying Lady for Rolls Royce or the Mercedes Star because those two manufacturers held out the longest before abandoning hood ornaments. It may have been safety that precipitated the end for hood ornaments but in the long run I think the big reason was cost. Popular priced cars after the onslaught of government regulation in the 60’s couldn’t afford hood ornaments and as hood ornaments became rare, the few remaining became collectors items causing Rolls to go to outlandish length to protect theirs before giving up.

We at Cantankerous Old Coots want to propose a solution to the ugly car problem. We say bring back the hood ornament! Wouldn’t it be wonderful to make your car distinctive again? Now that you can’t tell a Toyota from a Lexis from a KIA and all cars look like a cross-over, think what a hood ornament could do to make your car distinctive. Finally you could stop having to click your key fob and wait for the lights to flash to know which car is yours. Look for the one with your special hood ornament,


Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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  19 Responses to “Up With – Hood Ornaments”

  1. Since I’m from Texas, I love the longhorns! Car ornaments were wonderful! Of course we didn’t use to have to wear seat belts either in a kinder, gentler, slower traffic era.

  2. Joan, Being a Texan, you can appreciate that in the old days, we took care of ourselves. No nonny state government keeping us safe from ourselves. It makes me puke to see wimpy parents put helmets on their kiddies riding tricycles.

    • I am one of those parents with the helmets sadly….my wife is an ER Nurse and VERY into safety protections of all sorts. my bike has been “broken” for a while now because I really hate the helmets.

  3. Helmets won’t help when the big rig mows them down.

  4. I feel sorry for kids today (Now I sound like an old coot!) When I was young, we lived in a small town in southern Oregon. My sister and my cousins and I would disappear for the entire day climbing the mountain behind our house or playing cowboys and Indians at the creek. Nobody had to worry we’d get lost or stolen or drown. We showed up for lunch, which might be 2 pieces of white bread with butter and sugar on it. Never worried about sugar or cholesterol either.

    In fact, my dad’s father and uncles farmed in Iowa all their lives and lived on bacon grease, gravy and eggs and they lived into their 90’s. My father is still healthy at 85. Maybe honest physical labor made the difference.

  5. Joan,
    My father would fix breakfast for us boys. Bacon, Bacon gravy and biscuits. It is still a favorite today and I make it for my boys.

  6. Food of the Gods, Biscuits and Gravy…I do believe bacon and sausage are interchangeable, but bacon if forced to choose.

  7. I was going to make a comment stating that I am a “sausage man” but then I realized the horrible implications of a statement like that. Guess I will go with bacon now based solely on how “gay” saying anything about sausage sounds coming from a guy.

  8. Amazing to think that this post is about hood ornaments and there are all these comments about favorite healthy breakfasts.

  9. Or links.

  10. Yep…I’m most definitely an old coot. Thanks for the self-diagnosis tools!

    About that kettlebells video…do you have that guys email address? I’d like to send him a brief email…you know…something along the lines of:

    “Dammit man…GET A LIFE!!!”

    Ralph, I was reading your comment over at Doolin’s place. Yes, you do have a “narrative arc”, you just have it without knowing it…LOL.

    I like this place. I believe I’m going to HAVE to join the COC maillist. Heck…I’ll probably steal a few writing prompts for my place.

    See ya!

    • Well Bob, you are most definitely welcome here at Cantankerous Old Coots! Stick around, there is much more cantakerousness yet to come

  11. Bob,
    Now you have me worried. I have a narrative arc even though I don’t have a clue what one is. Is it something like a lisp or a stammer? Do I really want one? It makes me think of those big welding rigs that build cars on auto pilot. The bad thing about Doolin is his PhD. He just can’t seem to speak English. Maybe Burning Tree will loosen him up. So, help me out here, if you actually know what Doolin is talking about, how about a translation?

  12. Or Burning Man. Whatever!

  13. I have no idea what Doolin is talking about…hell, sometimes I’m not sure HE knows!

    LOL…actually, I THINK I know, but I don’t know I know. Hell, half the time I don’t know my own name unless I check my driver’s lisnce…liscence…lissence…crap!…permit.

    I think he is just using PhD-speak or computerese for conversational blogging…telling a story or presenting info…like my yurt stuff…in a conversational manner as opposed to “technical writing” where you don’t give a damn because you don’t care if it’s readable because the reader has no choice…kinda like studying for the driver’s exam. The manual author doesn’t care…you HAVE to know the info, or walk.

    I’d call talking about hood ornaments and oldies music in a one sided conversational manner to be a “conversational arc”.

    Maybe the comments at the end of the post completes the “arc”. You know what that means, don’t you? “Completed arc”?

    It means posts on here are talking in circles…LOL

    Now that’s just me…I don’t speak PhD (Piled higher and Deeper), or even MS (More Shit). I just speak BS (figger it out yourself).

  14. Haha!

    I’m actually moving my writing towards terseness, precision, accuracy and very narrowly focused relevance. Highly compressed. Obviously, I’m not publishing much of this stuff. And you’re right: whoever wants to read it had better be paying attention.

    On the reading side, I’ve started reading more technical specifications in detail. Finally tired of reading “about” what the specifications state. Easier just to read the damn spec myself. Single Point of Truth.

    I could go on. I won’t.

  15. Got to thinking about the lead quote. Whose life would I trade for a hood ornament? Al Sharpton and the other race whores come to mind. Hood ornaments have never incited a mob.

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