Down with Spring

 Posted by at 11:03  Down with
Feb 232015
 

It’s no big deal!

People make a big deal out of Spring but I‘ve decided it’s nothing special.  There is no perfect season.  I should know after all these years. The delights of Spring exist mainly in the imagination just like most all the other good things.  Our fantasies are generally wishful thinking about the next season after putting up with the worst of the current season.  We long for warm sunny days after the chill of winter.  After Summer’s inferno, even winter cold seems appealing.

Then too, modern life makes weather largely irrelevant.  With the exception of the occasional blizzard or hurricane, we can pretty much ignore weather.   Still, we dream about the perfect Spring day hyped by newspapers, TV and radio.  Even when the weather is perfect, we hardly notice.  We live in a bubble these days, moving rapidly from one artificial environment to another enduring the brief exposure to nature with mild annoyance.

Sure sign of Spring - Robin - Bird

Sure sign of Spring – Robin – Bird (Photo credit: blmiers2)

Real weather is so lame!  Each delight is burdened by some annoying reality.  Breathe in the balmy, fragrant Spring air and spend the rest of the day stuffed up with allergies.  Lounge on the soft Spring grass and end up with hundreds of bug bites.  Take off your shirt to let the pleasant  Spring sun warm your skin and end up with your first sunburn of the season.  Imagination is much more comfortable than reality.

I prefer fantasy.

We ignore the reality and indulge the ideal.  We remember  those special days that reflect the best each season offers-  the cool summer day after a rainstorm, the first day the daffodils begin to bloom,  that Saturday when the leaves show their most brilliant color, the first snow on the mountains.  Each of those days is special and makes a statement about the best each season can offer.  Unfortunately there are very few of those days- some years not even one- and the rest are a disappointing mixed bag.

A further problem is that Spring is a transition between the cold of Winter and the heat of Summer, it a constant state of flux.  What I always want in Spring is just enough warmth so that I enjoy being outdoors.  It’s beautiful when the buds are bursting and the spring flowers popping but what I dream of is the balmy temperatures, 90 days of 70 degree days would be perfect.  Ideally, Spring would arrive promptly in the early weeks of March with pleasant warmth and last until the end of May.  Rain is ok so long as it comes at night leaving the buds and blossoms dewy and fragrant and the days sunny.

Of course, that’s not how it works.  We don’t get 90 days of perfect weather.  Spring begins with snow and ends with an inferno.   At first, it is a tease.  Glimmers of warmth, swept away by Winter cold fighting to retain dominance.  Showers and sometimes even real thunderstorms come and stay for days at a time. Those perfect days are hard to come by.  Then it gets worse.

Winter loses its hold but just when it seems that Spring can finally dominate, Summer engages.  We start to get warm or even hot temperatures breaking into those balmy Spring days and as time passes, hot begins to dominate.  What ought to be a perfectly delightful period of pleasant temperatures while everything greens up and begins to bloom is a battle zone where moderation first battles cold and when it finally seems to have control is attacked by Summer.  It is a time of endless frustration.

Spring is a tease!

So I say down with Spring, that eternal tease that promises so much and gives to little.  No wonder we live our lives moving from one artificial environment to another drugged up with antihistamines.  With Winter and Summer you know you are going to get unpleasantness and discomfort.  You expect to seek refuge in the comforts of your home indulging in the best artificial environments that money can buy.  Winter and Summer are honest.  Spring, that dewy innocent appearing season which promises so much and delivers so little is a dishonest tramp.  That’s the way I see it and right now I can’t wait for the harsh realities of summer.  I don’t want any more of Spring’s empty promises.  How about you?

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Ralph

Ralph is the inspiration for Cantankerous Old Coots and is our Grand Duke of Cantankerousness

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